HAHA today's tkd was super eventful.

before the tkd lesson i was totally emo-ing away because my mom just told me sth very bad and distressing. when we finally finished stretching and warming up so that we wouldn't get cramps while doing kicking and stuff, hwang-sir called me up. i thought he was going to scold me or something because i didn't stretch rather properly today because of the emo-ing and stuff. so i stood at least 1m away from him. XD then he asked me to come closer in that horrible commanding tone of the typical hwang-sir. then he started asking me to do yellow-tape pattern! i was like O_O oh crap i forgot. haha in the end, i tried doing the pattern and he sort of taught me half of it LOL then he happily asked me to teach the 2 tiny yellow-tape-rs. i was like oh no i cannot teach lor WHY ASK ME TO TEACH. as if that wasn't enough sylvia started laughing at me from behind! so sad. so in the end i was stuck with teach both of them. BOTH OF THEM ARE SO CUTE. esp the chinese one. he's like AWWW SO CUTE! so adorable.

THEN WHILE I WAS TEACHING THEM, this "stupid" thailand guy came and kicked me lor. wa so poor thing me. but nvm, i think it made the 2 kids less nervous to see me wack that thailand guy. LOL they were laughing! yay so i finally made them less frightened of me. so i taught them a bit of the pattern. it's not even half yet. STUPID THAILAND GUY MADE ME CANNOT TEACH LOR. come and bully snr. then when it was finally break, z(h?)i an got hit by a rock thrown by this white belter. stupid white belter, think he's so good but actually he's the lousiest among all of them. go away lor, he threw so hard that zi an's face was like bleeding. stupid white belter. throw until the whole gi all red!

anyway sylvia and i were like stupid stupid stupid white belter! then the twins came and asked got ppl sth sth sth. sth about death and dying. then sylvia and i exchanged looks that so obviously said, wtf. hahahaha.

(OMG I JUST GOT NEWS THAT IM PLAYING BASS FOR CHURCH YOUTH PRAISE. HEAVENS.)

and then YISHAN CAME! WAHAHAHAHA. yishun and bishan O_O LOL jkjk.
but she was like WOAH. so cool can spar with her. BUT SHE DONT WANT!! so in the end i sparred with sylvia. i think i hurt her. =((((( i will cause her to me more resistant to kicks in the future! GOOD POINT.

VAMPIRE LADY, ASSASSIN, MONKEY GOD AND MARMALADE BOY HAD TAGGED SPARRING. NOT FAIR. I ALSO WANT. IM GOING TO IMPROVE MY SPARRING OKAAAAAAY. ARGKSGFJKAHSDFKLAJSDHFKJASHFKJ

then tkd was over.
I SAW XI'ER!!! HAPPY. i wonder why she never come today. i pointed yishan out to her and told her GOT NEW SPARRING PARTNER =3

i happily walked out because I SPARRED TODAY AND THAT MADE ME HAPPY! (im getting lazy so the para and getting shorter)

bryan came to insult me and said that i was very childish. IM SUPER MATURE OKAY. SYLVIA AGREES WITH ME.

happy little indian boy came and asked me and bryan to race him 5 rounds around the place. so he started running and i was walking around because i didnt wanna run, bryan was walking with me coz he lazy also. HAHA this part super funny. I SPOTTED YISHAN BEHIND WALKING OUT. so i was like raising up both hands and screaming I WANNA SPAR WITH YOU!! so happened the bryan was in front of me so he immediately got into a forward stance position and said you wanna spar with me? i was like oh crap. not you not you. but he still kicked me. then i was like punch punch punch. YISHAN finally walked over. and watched us for awhile because we were "sparring" then asked. you two siblings arh. HAHA both of us were like JIEJIE I WANNA EAT ICECREAM! DIDI YOU VERY BAD! then play follow the leader thing HAHAHA then i asked her, we look alike meh? she very cute lor anyhow think we are siblings. anyway she said to bryan you two couple arh? then me and bryan had the SHOCKED expression on our face. the bryan went what do you mean? she's 15 and im 13! she's OLDER! i was like YA! then YISHAN had the blur expression on her face and said but you (meaning bryan) look older than her. haha MATURE!

THEN YISHAN WANTED TO PLAY ME. and when i got into sparring position, I SPOTTED MY MOM OUTSIDE. argh. then i was like BAIBAI! she was like, when i wanna play with you you don't want to play with me. and i was whining sth about unfairness of timings and stuff and sparing with her on tuesday HAHA.

she very nice to bully. big and nice to bully. =D

so i shall bully her next week.

今天我的心情不好。

i feel so stupid.

i know that i'm not that smart. at least not as smart as those smart ppl in 3o1 like trixie or bailu. but can't she just see that i'm trying my best? not as if i never improve. i think i improved quite a lot. i don't understand why everyone around me judges my capability with my results. i don't think i am more stupid than yingyan or even jomain. but i also dont think that i'm smarter than them. maybe we're on the same pane, just that some of us know how to tackle exam questions and exam papers more than the others. i don't think that i'm so stupid that if people asked me questions, i wouldn't know how to answer them. in fact i think i'm better than most people in answering people's questions because i actually try to make connections and explain the facts to them.

and yet, all those are just to comfort myself. because the undeniable fact is that i'm still more stupid than those in 3o1. do you think that i can even get a scholarship? i really.. want to get one to prove to them that i am not stupid and to prove to them that i can study. if only i can get a scholarship then i can be sent to other countries to see how they study, maybe i can learn more things and understand better, so that when it comes to tackling problems again, i'll be better equipped. maybe it's just this thirst for more knowledge that i have that makes me stupid. too much knowledge kills a person. stupefy the brain. is that how you even spell that word? it's too late to do anything how. the results are out and there's a mark of my failure, a dark stain on my future. a mark that can never be erased.
be prepared to carry it for life, and be named stupid. unless i get top 3 in class next year.

but am i smart enough?

being exam stupid is a burden. being lazy is a burden. being myself is a burden. i wished i was just a little smarter.

it's too late.

too late.

why can't she understand lee shan2 marking is so much stricter.

sometimes i feel like hiding away from the world.

WEP PEOPLE.
ASIAN FILM ARCHIVE

volunteering for a non-profit arts organization

- assist the administrator in the planning and implementation of outreach events
- assist the outreach ifficer to produce the symposium on southeast asia cinema in december
- assist the archivist in accessioning and collating information for the collection
- assist in research for missing information in film collection and database.

working days and hours:
mon to fri
10am - 6pm

attire:
casual

allowance:
-nil-

address:
asian film archive
3 Changi South Street 2
Xilin Districentre Building B
#02-00
Singapore 486548
Tel:6777 3243

wahahaha.
i need to go shopshop for jeans BOOHOO

i wonder where am i going to go after this. i haven't really completed my nyaa and i can;t find the book.

it's going to be WEP soon; not sure if i can like wake up that early.

=(( thinking about the fact that i may have made the wrong choice. maybe i should have went to china or something to improve my chinese.

AND SOMETIMES IT SURPRISES ME HOW SOME PEOPLE CAN BE SUCH AN ASS WITHOUT EVEN TRYING TO BE ONE.
even people type of course got sound right? if you don't want sound the one with the MOVABLE LAPTOP should move away what. not the one who NEEDS to type on the STATIONARY computer to STOP TYPING.
PLUS THE FACT that she doesnt even CARE about others.
selfish~ sometimes i even wonder why she has friends.

OH WOE. all HER friends please go FAR FAR away from her when you start typing at a faster pace than she can ever type even if she practise for her whole life.

HA. now i've gone and said it. she's probably going to be pissed. anyway who cares lor.

not as if i owe her or anything.
if anyone owes someone something.
it'll be her owing me.

OHWELLS.

friendster hates me T.T

I'VE JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING FOR THE CAMP TSHIRT.

GET REAL
live for Jesus.

ohman

can draw a human or something else then draw a shadow of a cross behind.

then make it into an inverted L shape on the left side of the shirt.

at the empty space there write

GET REAL
live for Jesus.

will it work? TEEHEE

i should probably stop rebelling against my parents. although they still don't understand, i shouldn't make them suffer unnecessary pain or anything close that. i hope it isn't too late to change.

although i may not be the best, i'm trying to be the best a person like me can become. i'm trying my best in almost everything that i sign up for. you don't see me skipping any extra lessons, or trying to quit anything that i earnestly signed up for.

so ne!
i'll be the best i can.

so, can i sign up for weiqi? HAHAHAHA

the more you don't want me to say it,
the more i'll say it
the more you want to see my results,
the more i won't show it to you
the more you shout at me,
the more i'll ignore you

after all,
i don't want to end up like you,
don't i?

heh
you are not deserving of any more respect than i give you.
why?
you sometimes ask me that,
because you
are prejudiced and discriminate against me.

thus,
i will discriminate against you
and show you unfair judgment too.

THE IMPENDING DOOM IS HERE.

tomorrow i'll face that impending doom and TRY to survive. TEEHEE

ohwells. haha i'm falling to pieces due to nervousness! ARGH can't wait to see what results i've managed to pull this year. HAHA lets just hope they are about the same as my sec 2 end of years result. now now, i won't want myself getting too down when looking at my results won't i? =D

haha. these few days i've been thinking about stuff. i realised that there are so many people who is actually quite pissed with me. but ohwells, who cares. i just owe them now, but i'll try to give the favor back next time, well, someday.

I FINISHED WATCHING LOVECOM! teehee so sweet man that show. i wish the english subs of episode 24 would come out soon. haha. things like that never happen in real life, that's why life can be a little boring sometimes!
if it happens to one of my friends, i'll be totally like KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH hahahaha and become an avid fan of their lives.


*WACK*
maybe i should just wack myself for these types of thoughts HAHA ohwells.
blah =D

okay it's back to school~

YAY it's over =D
strangely, i feel this sense of coming dread in me.
hamster, zihui and xinyu are out now, i wonder what they are doing now.. haha was i right to not go with them and listen to my mom? probably yeah.

tadah, i stole this off yihui's blog.



it says that i'm good at intrapersonal thingy thingy.
and then they further go on to say that the common characteristics are: introverted, prefers working alone, philosophical, self-aware, often thinks of self employment, enjoys journaling, intuitive, independent, spends time thinking and reflecting, likes learning about self.
I WONDER.
i hate working alone, and im too shallow and dense to be self aware and philosophical and i dont wanna be self employed! =(
independent? HAHA i wonder where they got the idea from. how about spends time thinking and reflecting? do i even reflect? =D

and oh wow. i have MUSIC intelligence.
PINKY SHOCKED.

tadah this is shindou hikaru.

lets see when did it happen.
it last happen when i was young and fresh, having no worries because pri 4 streaming was over. i was watching hikaru no go at that time and looking at this female korean player play igo. it was very inspiring but that interest didn't hold for long because all the courses were so rare (at that time i didn't think that the Singapore weiqi association was as established as it is right now.) and the internet didn't permit you to learn enough with the exception of the rules and the few joseki moves that i found.
and books like the "one thousand and one life and death problems" to master the igo basics was difficult to come by in singapore. furthermore, i didn't have any connections who actually knew how to play go well enough to give me tutoring, or at least give me a few life and death problems to solve. so in the end, after logging onto internet go to play a few games, all bursting with determination and all, but loosing every game, i gave up.
but in that few times that i logged onto that igo website, lessons have been learnt. i finally learnt what an "eye" was. at least i knew the basic shape of an eye. but the person who taught me was simply too good. i could never form an "eye" when playing with him/her. all my "eyes" would either become "false eyes" or it would result it atari. he/she was so good that even seki was difficult to force out of him because he/she completely dominated the matches. most of the time i would resign after 8 moves. but i was more interested in targeting random go stones rather than conquering territories, thus the failure of creating an "eye" or even creating "atari". but i learnt, and became more confused as i realised i didn't know how to start a match. i didn't know anything about joseki. so i gave up for good.

at least i thought i gave up for good. i completed the entire hikaru no go series without feeling the want to play the game myself. but it hit suddenly, a few weeks ago when i was random searching for some videos to watch. i found a match kifu of a 9-dan player and was super inspired by the game. i started learning about joseki and actually tried to understand what were eyes and how to force eyes in the games. i learnt about double eyes and seki.

the courses were more common. there would be one coming up next year, in jan, but it is like so expensive. it's about 120 bucks for eight lessons.

carol did say something about her friend's friend being an igo tutor/sensei. and xier's brother saying something about his uncle being an igo sensei.

i really wanna learn.

=(