haha i have this new band i like. okay it's not really a band yet but they can be found on youtube!
boyce avenue!

i just went for dinner with my family. I realized that all of us are as unethical, as lonely as each other. what is a family unit? how come i don't feel any love radiating from our withins. i thought if you're out with your family, all 4 of us would treasure that feeling and this precious time that was taking just to go out for dinner.

yet why does it feel so cold and lonely. it feels as if everyone is isolated in their own world where they survive on their own. my mom doesn't really care about the family unit from what i can feel. my sister wasn't feeling well for the entire day already and yet when she told my mom "mom, i feel sick." my mom replied, "take panadol la, ask me for what? take more panadol la. you sick is your own business not my business. just take medicine la."

how hurting can that be? but when i told my mom that she shouldn't respond like this, my mom said, "is it wrong? just take medicine what."
"take too much can die."
"so?"

clocked in our own little world of sorrow, pain and fear, we become unable to see what others really think. i don;t know what my mother has in her mind when she said it. it just seemed so hurting to me. as if she didn't want us anymore. as if she have already given up on us.

are we really that bad?

even my dad feels as if he's a stranger.

i wish my family was perfect or at least in a better situation than this. i can't take it anymore. this is slowly killing me.

i felt that the strongest when i saw nicolea&trevor's mother rushing over just to try to catch their performance. i bet their mom is ultra-supportive of what they do. mine doesn't even care. she wanted to watch tv. she has never seen me play guitar or bass outside, even at home, she would ask me to shut up when i picked up the bass to play. my heart sinks when i realize that she doesn't really want to appreciate music. the only instrument she would accept is piano. my father is the same...

how about tkd? she thinks it's a useless sport. she has NEVER came to support me for any GRADING. why can't she at least see what i do in tkd and see how i perform during an important test?

i wish i was better.
i wish i was smarter.

but if i were,
would i still be me?

so funny. just now i went to NJ to pick up my sister and then i ended up picking up another baggage LOL.
and then HAHAHA so hilarious la.

my sister sat beside that BAggage for the registration (or so she said). i think her friend was looking at him all the time. then after awhile she told my sister
"eh the guy there quite shuai leh. i quite like him."

my sister almost puked blood.
i almost puked blood when i heard also.
O_O

*AHEM* that baggage better watch out.

Stuff to study for now.

math;
differentiation
integration
Sets & Venn diagrams

physics;
light
waves
electromagnetism
lens
reflection
refraction
a.c generator
principals of electromagnetism induction
moments
d.c motor

bio;
respiration
cell division
reproduction in plants
reproduction in man
molecular genetics

chem;
organic chem
periodicity
metals

LA;
summary skills
expository skills

IH;
environmental degradations
public health
statistics

Chinese;
read book and book review

A1A1A1A1A1

everything else is welcomed at this point of time.

sometimes i really wished that i could just be like any other normal person who studies in anderson or something and takes o levels with normal supportive parents that would care for her health instead of those damn marks that are so useless.

sometimes i feel like crashing down to sleep forever when times like this occur because nothing can be done about them, and they won't listen to me anymore. they would only listen to crappy teachers say their disgusting remarks where my life would become miserable and ruined. and my results would drop even more because i don't work well with stress.

have they ever thought about me as a person. or are they just pushing their dreams onto me because they have missed their chances a few thousand months ago. how do they think i feel when they force me to study in a way that i can't take. how do you think threats about quiting CHURCH, BASS LESSONS, TKD and other things that are so precious to me feel like?

i was happy when i could at least do something to serve God, in the end everything's going to be taken away because i am not good enough a person to fulfill their ugly dreams and empty promises right. i don't want to get a job where i can earn money. i want to get a job to help people or a job that suits to my interest. so the more you force me to be either a doctor or a lawyer the more i would refuse you. the more i will disobey. the more i will rebel. the more i will fall deeper into that deep pit of depression where i've been digging ever since both of your started shitting this house around.

so take your shit and go away with them. do you think i care where you take those disgusting dreams and empty promises to? do you think you can even fathom 1% of what i'm feeling right now? do you think that you have more stress than me?
how wrong can you be?
stop shitting around.

because i am human.

and not a machine to fulfill your dreams.

i quite like the tune of this song but i dunno, the singer's weird. or maybe it's the english. sounds like some jap trying to sing in english. in short awfully out of tune the english. oh and that weird photo. if you just minimize the browser. i think it'll sound nice. LOL


the death of beauty.
dunno who it's by though.

Here's the saosin one XD seven years

Hoho saosin's quite good actually, i like their older songs but they're really difficult to sing. coz you need to find someone who can scream and sing. but the newer songs with that new singer is not bad considering that that singer is so young. they sound really quite alike though XD
but their seven years (i think it's called that) and bury your head's good.

maybe we should try playing paramore songs instead since we have female singers and not male singers. =D i think paramore is not bad at all. whee one day i wanna us to try to play that's what you get. it sounds quite cool... maybe we can play it for grad night and invite someone up to sing wheeheee

today i almost didn't make it to church because my sister refused to wake up and my mom wanted to go for 2nd service. but finally she realised that youth service was in the afternoon so she woke up and got really, and we arrived at first service really late. i got separated from my mom at that time. i sat next to cheryl (the older one)
it was... scary. haha

my mom walked the other direction and abandoned me T.T

then we went for a picnic. and i'm now too lazy to type the details. arh =D
but it was rather disturbing to see teckjin's leg cramp up after he ran around O_O like suddenly WOAH cramp
and jia2 sweats a lot.
we met sheila on the bus and on the mrt O_O

AND OHMAN. i realised that taking on too much stuff is no good. now i have to try to find sometime to squeeze to practice for the side band thing in school (term 3 week 2), youth sunday (okay but that'll be over soon), grad night (WE NEED TO DO A RECORDING. OHMY TIAN. AND WE ARE STILL TRYING TO GET A SINGER. WELL DONE PINKY!), lucky i'm skipping guit. exam and not planning to take rock school exam this year if not i will go crazy.

I WILL STUDY HARD.
but again im still here slacking SO...
teehee

anw i think that harrytsai person on youtube's really good. if only he was singaporean then can invite invite XD

Lookie here's something that i found!

The cycle of revenge doesn't end unless the victims are all exterminate or the avenger, himself should loses everything and start over from the beginning with a second chance. Pain is the consequence of revenge.

anyway i think today's worse than yesterday. my head feels heavier than yesterday. what's with this horrible tension headache? in the first place, i don't see why i should get tension headache, i think i'm quite stress-free, maybe it's just fatigue but how come my parents are alright and i'm not! boohoo.

missing training's quite stressful. i fear i have grown weaker =(

There are people desperately crying out to return home.

Death and destruction just keep on occurring in this world. it seems as if the end is near.
This might be too late but all these have hit me when i finally found time to sit down and think about the direction where the world was heading and all those things that have happened recently.

it scares me.
it scares me that i'm sitting down in front of the computer, feeling a bit sick, but other than that okay. it scares me that my heart remains so cold when i go onto the CNN website to read about the victims of the disasters. it scares me that i seem to think of no one but myself. it scares me that there are people suffering so badly out there and i'm not even able to fathom a quarter of their pain.

it pains me.
it pains me to see all those children's lives just disappearing like that. it pains me to see a whole country only uniting in the face of a large scale disaster. it pains me to know that some countries are not even getting the help that they need so much. it pains me that even when in the depths of my cold cold heart i feel something, my mouth and mind insist that it has nothing to do with me

it seems as if the world is lost.
Polygamy; Christian cults with frustrated false prophets, preaching in the name of the Lord just to gain pleasure for themselves.
Cyclone; death and destruction but the government still only wants to care for the high ranking officials, leaving the commoners to die for all they care.
Deceit; gaining donations but not giving them to the people that needs them the most, cheating most countries of their donations.
Disasters; is this the only way where a country would be able to unite?

Is this the only path the world can travel down? When will Jesus come to save the lost?
I fear about the day He comes to save us. I fear because i don't know what to say to Him at all. What have i done for Jesus? What have i been doing up till now? I'm so afraid of judgment day, i don't know what i have done for Jesus, i don't even know what i'm currently doing for Him.

I hope all this death and destruction would end soon. I am especially happy that Singapore has actually managed to get some help into Myanmar and China. It comforts me to see the Lord pave a way into these countries, for us to give help to the lost and lonely people there. It comforts me to know that Singapore is still save for the time being.

I feel so blessed to be able to just sit here and type this out. I feel so appreciative of this house i have, at least there's shelter and a home for me to go back to. I cannot imagine the pain and how emotionally lost the people in Myanmar and China are. I am so thankful for my family, that they're still alive. That my sister is still there, annoying me at times and giving me the company that i need. That my mom is there to nag at me, no matter how much i dislike it. That my dad is still here to provide me the encouragement that i need. I'm really grateful for the fact that they're still here and i haven't lost them.

My heart goes out to all whose family members have been lost someway or the other.

I hope my cold cold heart would melt soon.
I feel that it has already started to.

The Voice of Truth
Planetshakers

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

but the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
i will soar with the wings of eagles
when i stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for my glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are

Just now jchan and i were discussing about polygamy, FLDS and the christian cults. i think it's so horrible. argh. horrible. shall type more when i've recovered from this fatigue.

ha! super long haven't blog already. ohwells, my grandfather's funeral just over and i'm very tired and rotting in my cousin's house. you know all 3 of them, play the piano super well. roars. now kuorui is playing the piano cannot stand it. because they all can play nice nice tunes.

(ah the computer just bleeped. so scary)

and my sister is beginning to play like them. i have no idea how im going to throw tomorrow. super tired la. i think my body is dying. argh argh

my sister and BA have both gone to VJ for the test thing. i wish them the best. haha BA'a parents have this "don't touch my precious son" aura. so scary la. and anyway. haha saw those girls that BA knows. they didn't look how i imagined them to look like.

HOHO now going to play neopets. shall blog more tonight if i have the energy, but i think im going home to sleep.

yesterday right i was talking to ba and walao finally realised ho ego he is la =_______=

LA Learning Log

article 3: Private property must be protected from extreme environmentalists
- what is the core issue?
- is the assumption correct?
1. comment on the following statements (question assumptions; examine evidence in the text; comment on the speaker and/or writer's perspective and attitude)
- "when you think of the government, you generally think of a system that helps the common good, all people. but if you believe that, you are mistaken. yes i will agree that the government does help most people, however, they do not help all of us. slowly they are taking away our private property, making it public property, and destroying our nation."
she feels as if she is cheated, against the government, swindled, (cheated and swindled are harsh words), (to tricked/cheated, you must show intent.), the government did not intent to cheat. it was unintentional.
why did she cross from common good to all people. is common good all people? how to please everyone? if can please everybody government is not human already la. but it still sounds logical eventhough the cross between common good and all is abit dubious. is it the role of the government to help ALL or us? or is it to help MOST of us. voice of the minority. they would feel that the government is UNJUST. Taking away private property, making it public property and destroying our nation. how does the conclusion link of the premises. NO LINK! how does making private property public property destroy our nation =_=
she has been aggrieved. emotional statement because conclusion does not link. help everybody, help us (could just be only her), comment on speaker, emotional, aggrieved, angry, wants sth to be made right/redressed.

- "...all of us are environmentalists to some extent."
assumption that she made. it's not fair, even if it's a small way, cannot assume that everyone is aware about the issue. there's one thing to be an environmentalist but another to be aware. this is called inclusive language. ALL OF US. ALL OF US. BLAH US. Mr Paul Tan says: WE ARE ALL CHINESE! ALL OF US! this is called PERSUASION. political speech, US elections. BRUTUS, julius ceasar. NAPOLEON in animal farm. ALL INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE.
if we are taken in by her argument = if you dont object you are a tacit environmentalist. but not true ROAR.

article 4: We need to cut down trees to save the environment


(I am so not convinced by the 2 articles. but i agree somewhat with article 3)

here's sth i drew yesterday!
it's supposed to be realism..

hello world! i haven't blog for ages!

recently i have been watching an anime, d gray man HAHA.
i can't believe i used to be so scared and freaked out by it. so horrible but yeah, i think allen is quite cool in the anime. BUT CLAYMORE IS BETTER XD

here are some pictures from d gray man.

HAHA a person from the noah thingy thingy. not sure of her name =(


miranda lotto! i'm looking forward to her future appearance. i think she's quite cool!


lenalee lee HAHA so weird right the name and allen walker


miranda's time recovery thingy


allen's shocked face when he realises that when akuma self destruct, the spirit inside will disappear with the dark matter


the spirit of the akuma that self-destructed asking allen to save him/her


allen and his nice nice weapon


the spirit inside the akuma crying after it self-destructed


nice picture of that evil noah family thingy thingy


see allen looks strange and old


TOMA!


injured lenalee and allen


allen in the hospital. i love his pic makes him look so innocent


this one too!


Lavi and his nice smile here.


MIRANDA RID OF HER EYEBAGS. ohman i think she's so cool.


HAHA FUNNY PICTURE


allen's cursed eye


when allen was a kid, he was cute. i'm not so sure if he is now.


devastated allen when mana died. he was looking up at the millennium earl


tadah the earl


walker shouting for mana's spirit


after mana curses him and his anti-akuma weapon destroyed mana's locked spirit.


mana's grave


an exchange made between leo and the earl of millennium


leo as an akuma

LA learning Log

The First article
-Timmy the gorilla-

Timmy likes a barren gorilla, Kate but the people want to send Timmy to New York to impregnant the other female gorillas that can give birth.
are humans supposed to do this? do we have the right to do this (seperate them)?
Taking on a godlike role
1. can animals love? can they feel? can they experience longing?
longing is when you don't have ed. are animals capable of emotions? who are we to decide? we have always been deciding for the animals, but we have been deciding that they are incapable of emotions.

"but we're trying to save the gorillas!" what about the fish, chickens, cows..
[i dont like chicken..]

are emotions a man made concept? is love a man made concept? is longing a man made concept? do emotions include longing? if it includes, then animals have emotion. and emotion does not only consist of jealousy.

are humans playing god in the lives of animals? who are we to say that the ability of two gorillas to be fruitful, or not, should be the deciding factor in their lives?

GORILLAS HAVE RIGHTS? what's the difference between us and gorillas?
humans think we're more superior. we're always doing that, but is it right?
this has been going on from the time when we existed, so how can we just change our thinking in such a short period of time. no one will turn around and say, oh actually we're equal to humans. no one will say that.

what if godzilla one day comes and thinks it is superior to us? errrrrr so..

jealousy - man made thing. how can a dog feel jealous? ah. but some people can prove it.

longing - DOG! you leave a dog for a day, the doggie will whine and whine and whine and whine.

Sealion tried to mate with a penguin O_O

what is/should be our relationship to animals?
what is our comfort level, what is our level of comfort for co-existance. some people wont even allow for co-existance.
sustainability.

are we equal to animals? if we're not prepared to be equal to them, can we respect them? if we cannot respect them can we eat them with respect? (this sounds super gross, reminds me about the yomas in claymore eating human guts)
sooner or later it's probably going to affect our food chain.
then start eating each other.
LORD OF THE FLIES.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord_of_the_Flies
but isnt this an anthropocentric view? (humans impt.)
ah.
if we are animals, what about the pigs? they are also animals what, so we share some common trends.

orang utan going to be exinct, because indonesia is planting more palm trees for palm oil because oil is super expensive now.

animal rights.
Animal rights, also known as animal liberation, is the idea that the interests of animals, such as the interest in avoiding suffering, should be afforded the same consideration as the interests of human beings. Although animal rights advocates approach the issue from different philosophical positions, they argue, broadly speaking, that animals should no longer be regarded as property, or used as food, clothing, research subjects, or entertainment, but should instead be regarded as legal persons and members of the moral community.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_protection

objections to animal rights.
http://www.animal-rights.com/

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1736924,00.html?xid=feed-cnn-topics
Iraq: al-Qaeda Blamed for Bombings

OHMAN HAHAHAA this is Hyde

I THINK HYDE LOOKS WEIRD WITH SUNGLASSES! CANNOT SEE HIS EYES PROPERLY ANYMOREEE

These are the articles i can use for R&R (3rd thingy)


http://edition.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/05/06/sdsu.bust/index.html


teenager drug dealers.





http://www.khou.com/topstories/stories/khou080506_mh_childstartsfire.d53bb299.html


5year old boy sets older brother on fire.





http://edition.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/05/06/police.impersonators.ap/index.html


police impersonators kidnapped drug dealers and torture them





http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/05/06/myanmar.cyclone/index.html


myanmar cyclone survivors are desperate for help as dead bodies are thrown into the river.





http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/05/06/japan.china.summit.ap/index.html


chinese president welcomes japanese emperor.

LA learning Log

Myanmar - a cyclone happened in there over the weekends. up to about 15 thousand people died.
statistics can be manipulated for their own use, for their good, for their own purposes.
why would anyone want to manipulate stats in this case?

US was quite quick to add the statement: myanmar government has not been quick enough to respond to the cyclone.
a statement like this suggest that the military govt in myanmar is pui(O_O)

Not too long ago (2 years =___=) the US was struggling to deal with another natural disaster. hypocrisy?
political dig at myanmar just from a cyclone.. is it fair?

a maid is sued for having sex with a 14 year old boy. children have rights, as long you are a minor, you are deemed not to be aware abt the world around you.

that are entitled to have providence to the most basics of needs (the 1st level of maslow's hierarchy of needs)

if we dont take care of environment, the environment won't take care of us.
Link, china flu virus?
we shouldnt' have an anthropocentric view of the world. everything in this world is done for human beings. right now the dominent view all over the world is "everything we do is because of human beings." so why must be protect the environment? because it is for human beings. because a lot of effort from environment groups is very anthropocentric. but isn't this the way it is supposed to be? not really...
if you view yourself inseparable from human beings, you are part of the world. you would feel that i must start doing more for the environment.

Shintoism
Shinto (神道, Shintō?) is the native religion of Japan and was once its state religion. It is a type of polytheism, and involves the worship of kami (神, kami?), spirits. Some kami are local and can be regarded as the spiritual being/spirit or genius of a particular place, but others represent major natural objects and processes: for example, Amaterasu, the Sun goddess, or Mount Fuji. Shinto is an animistic belief system. The word Shinto, from the original Chinese Shendao (神道),[1] combines two kanji: "shin" (神, "shin"?) (loanwords usually retain their Chinese pronunciation, hence shin not kami), meaning gods or spirits; and "tō" (道, "tō"?), meaning a philosophical way or path (originally from the Chinese word dao). As such, Shinto is commonly translated as "The Way of the Gods". Some differences exist between KoShinto (the ancient Shintō) and the many types of Shinto taught and practiced today, showing the influences of Buddhism when it was introduced into Japan in the sixth century.[2]
After World War II, Shinto ceased to be Japan's state religion, although it continued to be considered the native religion of Japan. Some Shinto practices and teachings, once given a great deal of prominence during the war, are no longer taught or practiced today, while others still exist as commonplace activities such as omikuji (a form of fortune-telling) and the Japanese New Year to which few people give religious connotations. Important national ceremonies such as coronations and imperial marriages are conducted at the Three Palace Sanctuaries in Tokyo.

Taoism
Taoism (or Daoism) refers to a variety of related philosophical and religious traditions and concepts. These traditions have influenced East Asia for over two thousand years and some have spread internationally.[1] The Chinese character Tao 道 (or Dao, depending on the romanisation scheme) means "path" or "way", although in Chinese religion and philosophy it has taken on more abstract meanings. Taoist propriety and ethics emphasize the Three Jewels of the Tao: compassion, moderation, and humility. Taoist thought focuses on wu wei (non-action), spontaneity, transformation and emptiness/omnipotence. An emphasis is placed on the link between people and nature, and that this link lessens the need for rules and order, leading one to a better understanding of the world and one's surroundings.[citation needed]
Nature and ancestor spirits are common in popular Taoism. Organized Taoism distinguishes its ritual activity from that of the folk religion, which some professional Taoists (Daoshi) view as debased. This sort of shamanism is eschewed for an emphasis on internal alchemy among the "elite" Taoists.[citation needed]
Chinese alchemy, astrology, cuisine, several Chinese martial arts, Chinese traditional medicine, fengshui, and many styles of qigong breath training disciplines are intertwined with Taoism throughout history

Both have the philosophy that THE WORLD IS ONE.

Opposing viewpoints.

LA Learning Log

Review of compre:
- what matters is the spirit of the answer
- vocab.
1. underscore - stresses, highlights, emphasizes, shows clearly. (will allow if there is some intensity in there)
it does not mean underline and show, or falls below, demonstrates (vaguely correct but not intensed/accurate enough)
2. foiled - thwarted, disrupted, ruined, destroyed, uncovered and destroyed, caused to fail
it does not mean prevented (inference). found out, failed, faulty, screwed (CANNOT!)
3. ultimately - finally, eventually, in(at) the end, at the end of the day, fundementally, basically
it gives a sense of at the end of the road, at the end
it does not mean on the whole, still, mainly
4. ruthless - merciless, without moral restraint, cruel, vicious, commiting terrible deeds without guilt
(accepted explanations have a mental element while unaccepted ones are only physical)
5. vulnerability - susceptibility, weakness (accept: level of weakness/weaknesses), ease of being attacked
it does not mean inability to defend.


- for vocab not trying hard enough. not only must get the correct meaning, (nuances - shades of meanings, intensity.)

Reflections

What went wrong
What went right
What did I learn during the review
What can I do to improve
I got a very low mark for this comprehension and I felt that I did not perform very well for this. I did not do very well for almost the entire comprehension. I think it is because I did not read the comprehension passage properly. When I was doing the comprehension, I finished it extremely early. I did not check because I did not understand some parts of the comprehension so I thought that it would be pointless to check.
Only after the review then I realised that the questions were not as simple as I thought. I realized that to answer a question efficiently, I must point out the main points of the question instead of writing a long paragraph. In my answers, I would write one a long paragraph on what I think is the answer, but as we went through the review I saw that the answers were actually very short. Furthermore, I learnt that my inference is actually very weak, and I could not see what the other students saw.
For the vocabulary part, I only got 2 of the questions correct. My vocabulary is generally weak. Mr Tan told us that for vocab we must get both the nuances and the intensity of the word correct. My answers generally fell into the not accept box because they were too general.
I can attempt to improve my comprehension skills by reading more. It would expose myself to phrases that I am currently not exposed to such as “no silver bullet available.” I can also pay more attention to

i've just finished watching the moon child.

hyde, gackt and lee hom were acting in it.

it was about this 3 boys, sho (gackt) , shinji and toshi. they had to rob people to live on, so at a young age, they were already experienced robbers. then one day, they robbed the wrong person, and shinji (sho's elder brother) got shot by that person on the leg. at the same time, sho found kei (hyde) the vampire. kei managed to save all of them from that bad guy. while kei drinks the blood of that guy, sho walks up to him. feeling strange that sho was not afraid of him, kei asked "why aren't you afraid of me?". the only reply he got was this large smile.

then screen blacked out and showed them (sho, shinji and toshi) all grown up. shinji now walks with a limp and have fallen prey to gambling and drugs. whenever he takes drugs he would hallucinate about this fish swimming around him and haunting him. sho lives with kei and toshi works in this pizza company. unlike the past where shinji would help sho to carry out these robberies, toshi and kei helps sho now.

at the apartment that sho and kei owned. kei had a nightmare about how his master died. the scene opened with kei on the beach looking at the sun with his master. his master told him that he was sick of this life and was so tired. he was going to give up his life after singing the song,
we watched the setting sun
a perfect orange glow
both about to cry
for our final farewell.
as the sun came up, kei tried repeatedly to get his master to get into the shade. his master merely smiled at him before telling kei to get to the shade. the sun rose and being kei, kei ran for the shade and watched his master sit in the sun and started burning up like a fireball and yet so unlike a fireball at the same time. full of glory, pride and honor his master disappeared into the blaze of flames as kei stayed in the shade smoking slightly, but other than that still well. kei then woke up. the story continued.

somewhere in the middle, sho and toshi met son (lee hom) and his sister (yi che). i think they met in a fight with a mafia boss, they decided to pair up, or be a trio after that incident. strangely they became super good friends. one night (because kei cannot go into the sun because he will burn up.) they all went to the beach and took a photo with the 5 of them in this order. yi che, kei, sho, son, toshi.
at that time if i'm not wrong, both kei and sho liked yi che but yi che only liked kei.

after that beach incident, tragedy struck on the day when yi che's drawing/mural was being "opened". that night, the 5 of them were supposed to meet and have a party. toshi was supposed to deliver pizza for them (since he worked in a pizza place). he then received this call from the orphanage (the details were not going to be revealed until later but aiya nvm) to say that his mom have finally accepted him and wants to see him. at the same time, 2 guys from an opposing mafia barged into the pizza store. the 2 mafias dragged toshi to where he was supposed to meet sho and the rest. in the end, in the middle of the fight toshi got shot to death and sho was in hysterics. sho got down on his knees and hugged toshi, trying to keep toshi alive by talking to him. toshi used the last of his energy to tell sho that he had receive a call from the orphanage and that his mother wanted to see him at the very spot he was in the very next day. his face was smiling before he died. at this moment, kei appeared out of nowhere. because it was raining and dark. in the end, he killed the 2 mafias by sucking them dry. (this happened because he was refraining from drinking blood for quite some time already, and he just lost control because he was so weak.) son was watching kei do this, but making no move to stop him as his face contorted into a mask of horror. sho came over, with yi che looking so super horrified at what kei was doing. the scene ended with kei still sucking their blood in order to survive, in order to live and sho loosing control and shouting at kei to stop it because toshi was dead.

the scene ended and the next one opened a few years later. yi che and sho were married and kei had gone to a jail somewhere far off. son had joined the mafia that murdered toshi. sho also became a powerful head of a mafia gang. this part was rather boring. in the end sho found out about kei's whereabouts and went to search for him. they met in jail. kei looked tired, pale and hungry. after telling kei about everything that was happening, he went up to the roof and called shinji. i forgot what was the conversation about but he had to rush back to his hometown immediately. in the end, a few members of his mafia gang was killed. shinji blamed sho for not being there and for being with the bloodsucker monster when everyone needed him back in his hometown. sho got angry and shouted at shinji that shinji was useless without sho and everything that shinji had now was because of sho. in the end, shinji who had quit drugs sometime ago took drugs again and had that hallucination about a fish swimming around again. in the end, he went to the other mafia boss's house to try to shot him to death. this resulted in shinji being shot to death instead. at the same time, yi che who had born sho one daughter, was down with a brain tumor. to make it worse, in her delusions, she called sho kei and son her father...

at this point of time, sho broke. at the other side of the world, kei was being told that he would be sentenced to death the very next day. while he was being escorted out from the room he was in, the phone rang. the police around him picked up the phone and after hearing the person on the phone, handed the phone to him.
the conversation went something like this. kei was the one who said hello and sho was the one who called him.
"Hello"
"I wanted to see you.. i miss you so.. a lot have happened.. i don't think i can go on alone, i need your help.. help me.. kei.. i can't go on alone.. "
then the phone got taken away from him. i think the phone call inspired him or something because the very next day, when everyone was so sure that he wanted to die and accept death with open arms, he fled.

he ended up in mallepa with sho.

the final battle happened then. sho asked kei to take care of hana (his daughter) if he died in this final battle. true to his words, he went into this battle like a man ready to die and cared nothing about his life. he wanted to avenge toshi, shinji and the others who had fallen prey to the mafia that ruined his life, the mafia that son had joined. kei was covering his back the entire time this happened (when he was fighting like a man ready to lose his life.) in the end, sho came face to face with son. not wanting kei to interfere, he took a shotgun and shot down part of the ceiling so as to let sunlight in and to prevent kei from passing through and helping him. while kei stood there helpless, both son and sho ran deeper into the area and started a one on one battle. they shot at each other until they had only one bullet left. sho was already super injured by then. while they were fighting, the two teenagers who were with the mafia boss decided to turn against their boss and to make themselves the most powerful. they walked out after killing their boss and tried to kill kei when they saw him. after running him through with 5 shots, they left him alone thinking he was dead. in the end, kei got up with his super regenerating powers and managed to kill both of them because of his rage.

back at where son and sho were having their last bullet and were still engaged in battle. they made a pact that whoever was the survivor would have to take care of all the family members of the one who was dead. they then decided to settle this fight in the old fashion method, where both of them would count to 3 before shooting at each other with the last remaining bullet. in the end, after the count of 3, only one bullet blast sounded. sho staggered to the ground, blood pouring out of the bullet wound on his left chest. son looked shocked and his expression begged sho to tell him why sho spared him. but sho just smile in response and told him that he did pull the trigger. at the other part of the hideout, kei had risked his life by running through the sunlight just to get to sho. when he reached, he was son standing over a dying sho. being unable to control his anger, he put about 7 bullets into son, killing him instantly. the scene closes with kei holding on to the almost dead sho and telling sho that he can't die.

the next scene opens with hana's redrawing of her mother's mural being "opened". at night, the meets kei and thanked kei for all he had done for her. kei just told her to study hard and draw well at the school overseas. there was a hint of something that told the watchers that he won't be back for her. as hana waves and say goodbye, kei walks towards the mural. there sho stands watching the mural with quiet admiration.

kei asked sho why he didn't want to see his daughter. sho replied by saying that he was disgusted with the putrid creature he had become (kei transformed him into a vampire) and was unable to face his daughter. both sho and kei got into a car and drove to the beach where kei's master died and where they took the photos. as they drove, there was silence before kei told sho that he was so tired and to let him sleep for a little while.
the car ride then ended with kei singing the song
we watched the setting sun
a perfect orange glow
both about to cry
for our final farewell
after this song, they reached the beach. still they sat in the car. watching the night fade as they waited for the sun to slowly appear like an egg yolk melting into the sky. both were silent as they observed the stary sky. kei broke this peaceful silence and passed a photo to sho. sho glanced at the photo and realized that it was the photo from the day when all 5 of them were together. their smiles looked so bright and relaxed, unlike the mood right now. he placed the photo on the side of the car as both of them looked on into the night. as the night faded and the sun appeared, kei held on to the photo. both were going to die but both had smiles on their faces. the camera showed the sky getting lighter and lighter as the sun rose to give life and judgment to death. the camera then zoomed in on sho and kei as their faces wore faint smiles. then at the photo, where the photo got brighter and brighter. kei then told sho,
here comes the sun
the screen lingered on the sun for a long while before fading into the waves which lapped so peacefully over the beach.
then showed the empty car.

the story ended with the five of them taking another photo, but this looked like they were all in death. renewed, rejoined, another meeting, another beginning. all in death.

i love this show. i love it so much.

i wanted to blog about something. but i forgot what i wanted to blog about! D=

i love the song fly by jealkb. although jealkb is made up of comedians and whatnots but i realized that their singing and songs are quite good. but fly is still their best song. =) the vid also very cute O_O love it.

burn fumetsu no face by b'z quite good too. the effects of the vid very nice. it's like lightning everywhere, but if you don't like rock, i'll advice you not to listen to it. haha fly is still nicer though. but exciting vid for this.

HA. new song that i know from l'arc ~en~ ciel, drink it down. THE PV SUPER SCARY. ohman what was that la. the horrible vampire fangs from nowhere. i almost had a heart attack when those fangs popped out from nowhere. okay from that person's mouth. so scary. and the main line for the guit is woah, really like for some haunted mansion or sth. but I LOVE IT. as much as daybreak's bell and finale! but trust is still the best =3

ha. and this weird weird song from one part of the kinki kids. domoto tsuyoshi i think. he's not bad, except the video doesn't make sense. kurikaesu haru by 244 ENDLI-x! the name of his single side project is so weird. ohwells. haha it's good to watch MTV more often you get to know about weird songs like this. yeah anyway it's very nice the song =3


i've just finished the time traveler's wife. despite the overall pervertness throughout the entire book i think it's pretty touching. i cannot imagine how i would be if i knew i was going to die and can do nothing to stop myself from dying. or that my ex is going to commit suicide in front of me and i can do nothing to stop it. i cannot imagine watching myself (an older myself) dying right in front of me and be okay after that. i cannot imagine myself waiting for a long long time just for my deceased time traveling husband, so that when im 82, my 43 year old husband from the past would travel from the past to the present, his future to see me. i think it's so sweet.

i have no idea how i would feel if i was clare.

i love the book's ending. it's so nice. =) SO GO READ IT. now now

the time traveler's wife - audrey niffenegger

i decided. I LIKE SANZO. hahahaha

and saiyuki reload is quite a cool book actually.

it's so painful. it hurts.

i realized that even though i look and feel so uncomfortable if someone comes up to me and tell me that they care for me, that my family members tell me that they love me, i actually need those words.

i need the "i love you"s, "i care for you"s and hugs the most even though they are the actions that i'm so fearful of.

i realized that the gaping hole is getting larger. my parents want me to be who i am not. they obviously don't love me for who i am. am i right? i am satisfied with what i have now. how miserable do you think i feel when you force me to do things that i don't want to? how do you think i feel when you keep saying im stupid and not doing my part? what is doing my part? why do you think i look so upset all the time? why you think i crave for a person that would really care for me and for my true self all the time?

i think love isn't real anymore. i need love. i want love. i crave for love. and yet, i have nothing, gain nothing, get nothing.

i'm not afraid of being called weird and being labeled as something i don't like. it's just that i cannot bear to break the hearts of those beside me. maybe if i died everything will be okay. they would finally get things done without any irritating people bothering them.

i've been thinking of the rope and the chair these few days. i'm scared that i would actually do it. would anyone think of me? would anyone miss me? or would everyone rejoice because i am gone? would anyone mourn for me? or would they leap for joy because i am no longer in their lives. would anyone cry for me? would anyone remember me? would anyone love me?

i am only human. i still need someone. i still need love.

but it seems like love is so difficult to get.

mom, dad, what have i done to deserve this?

the days are getting shorter and the nights are getting longer.

The Great Global Warming Swindle vs An Inconvenient Truth


The Great Global Warming Swindle
http://www.lifestyleextra.com/ShowStory.asp?story=CZ434669U&news_headline=global_warming_is_lies_claims_documentary

- "Al Gore might have won an Oscar for 'An Inconvenient Truth', but the film is very misleading and he has got the relationship between CO2 and climate change the wrong way round."
One major piece of evidence of CO2 causing global warming are ice core samples from Antarctica, which show that for hundreds of years, global warming has been accompanied by higher levels of CO2 in the atmosphere.
- There is some evidence to suggest that the rise in carbon dioxide lags behind the temperature rise by 800 years and therefore can't be the cause of it.
In the greenhouse model of global warming, heat from the sun's rays is trapped by greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. If it weren't for these gases, Earth would be too cold for life.
- Greenhouse gases trap heat from the sun within the earth's atmosphere. This is the greenhouse effect. Traditional models predict that increasing concentrations of greenhouse gases lead to runaway heating.
If greenhouse warming were happening, then scientists predict that the troposphere (the layer of the earth's atmosphere roughly 10-15km above us) should heat up faster than the surface of the planet, but data collected from satellites and weather balloons doesn't seem to support this
- Those who think global warming is a natural process say that the troposphere is not heating up because man-made greenhouse gases are not causing the planet to heat up.
For some people, the final nail in the coffin of human-produced greenhouse gas theories is the fact that carbon dioxide is produced in far larger quantities by many natural means: human emissions are miniscule in comparison. Volcanic emissions and carbon dioxide from animals, bacteria, decaying vegetation and the ocean outweigh our own production several times over.
- Others would argue that carbon dioxide isn't the only greenhouse gas and that human emissions could tip up a finely balanced system.
New evidence shows that as the radiation coming from the sun varies (and sun-spot activity is one way of monitoring this) the earth seems to heat up or cool down. Solar activity very precisely matches the plot of temperature change over the last 100 years. It correlates well with the anomalous post-war temperature dip, when global carbon dioxide levels were rising.
- and the rest http://www.channel4.com/science/microsites/G/great_global_warming_swindle/arguments_6.html

I was told to enjoy this year because it's going to be my last year in this school.

Yet it feels so horrible that I can't help but resent this year.

I don't want to sleep,
I don't want to dream,
Because my dreams don't comfort me.

My demons lie at the side waiting,
To kill me as i lay sleeping.

Bio talk is so difficult. =(
i have the general outline out but i have to somehow solidify this by today.
jiayou me.

yesterday soggae, audrey, zongbin, portia, zihui, siwei, nicolea and xinyu all went out to play badminton. haha they, except for zihui, were so enthusiastic. Badminton wasn't really my cup to tea so yeah, that explains the lack of interest on that day. Maybe we can go bowling with soggae one day. Haha everyone that ball go into long kang.

After playing badminton, me and zongbin went to siwei's house. I like her house. HAHA