Nice and geeky look =D HAHA


Big big eyes looking through a mail box to see if anyone saw the newspaper he just posted through the mailbox =____=


nice pout HAHAHA so hilarious


hmm. doubtful, very doubtful

i found these photos too funny not to be posted LOL

Reflection

How many times have we actually sat down and reflected upon our lives? What is life? What is our purpose for living this mundane life, for eternity until we rot away and die.

Reflecting upon myself, i feel like everything that i've been doing currently until now is mundane and meaningless. How meaningful is a life that you're completely unsure of. That you've started to give up on since you found out that you mean nothing to no one anywhere. And so what am i doing in this so called elite school that i'm attending now? Isn't it really obvious that with my current standard, i'm not even suited for this class, needless to say this school.

Perhaps coming into this school was a mistake. Perhaps coming into this life was just a big lie.

Maybe lying to myself would then be a better idea, maybe i should stop thinking because people of my standard only think about rubbish and nothing else. No matter how hard i study or even try to be who i want to be or who i feel i am, it all boils down to nothing.

Nothing

It's like the world is one and i am one with myself. because no one is willing and i am not willing to understand myself anymore. i shall just leave it at that.

Lets continue having those sleepless nights and restless dreams where everything is dark and haunted. maybe even dead.

I could just say that im happy to be alone and just jealously look at the many groups of friends beside me.

yeah, i could do that.

Difference between Julius Caesar and the Julius Caesar in Real Life

In Julius Caesar, he was seen as a tragic hero.
- a man that does not become a hero until he dies or sees his own downfall
- tragic heros need to have a redeeming quality
- he kept going for what is good for the people
- the good of the people: (what are they?)
- Julius Caesar is a play of paradoxes
http://www.bard.org/Education/studyguides/juliuscaesar/juliusparadox.html
Real life he was seen as a dictator.

In Julius Caesar, the assassination happened on the same day
In real life, it happened on different days.


Paradox: on one hand... one the other hand
The duality of man,
- Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
duality comes from DUAL and dual comes from DUO and duo is TWO.
There are always 2 sides to man, in certain sense it is a paradox.
Man - complex character?
- in this world everything is quite easy to explain.

Why was Ronald Reagand shot?
- John Hinkley decided to assassinate Ronald Reagand because he wanted to impress Jodie Foster. and he thought it would get Jodie Foster to love him. He was obsessed with Jodie Foster, a deranged fan after watching Taxi Driver a couple of times.
Non Sequitar
- Ultimate irony: Jodie Foster is lesbian O_O

Representative Democracy, over the weekend, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong unveiled a new cabinet.
immediately ogver the weekend people started to say: why are there certain groups of man that are not represented?
What are the various groups that could be under-represented
- Race?
- Gender?
People actually asked, where are the women? where are the minorities?

i forgot why i used to hate ohno like crazy. LOL

but now i like satoshi ohno a lot. i think in the recent years he has become cooler but the best thing about him is still the voice HAHA it's so nice~

i placed his picture as my dp one day and i asked soggae and mommy to look at the picture. soggae told me that he's such a feminine guy and mommy asked me if he was a girl! LOL
but no matter how i look at it, he still looks a lot like a guy what! where got so bad until look like a girl. ah but it's so devastating, all the singers i like are close to 30. or already 30+.

note to self: i must like younger singers.

today i got back quite a few papers. i think im going to sink into depression soon, my msg can't even go below 3. it's like 3.sth what the 2nd digit is, i shall not reveal, but it's so depressing. i don't see how i can pass this year. well, lets not aim for lower than 2.0 msg anymore okay. lets make liuliu worry about passing this year first.

i cannot believe how unbelievably stupid i am. study and study but what's the result? NOTHING. nothing at all.

i wish i was a little smarter.

lets put KI out of my mind too. lets put scholarships out of my mind too. lets just concentrate on studying and make me a nerd.

maybe being a nerd isn't too bad after all.

because being alive is just so sad.

alkanes

1. viscosity
as molecular size increases, the viscosity also increases as there are stronger intermolecular bonds between the molecules, causing it to be more difficult to pour out.

2. flammability
as molecular size increases, % of carbon also increases
less flammable
more sooty flame; caused by incomplete combustion

3. density
as molecular size increases, the alkane becomes denser

4. boiling and melting point
as molecular size increases, boiling and melting point increases as there are stronger attractive forces between molecules, making it more difficult to separate them.

5. cracking
a large carbon chain broken down to smaller carbon chains (molecules?)
hydrogen a by-product

homologous series
a group of organic compounds which share the same chemical properties and the same functional group

functional group
an atom/a group of atom that gives the molecule it's characteristic properties.

fractional distillation of fuel

petroleum gas
boiling point: lower than 40 degree C
no of carbon molecules: 1-4
uses: fuel for cooking and eating

petrol
boiling point: 40-75
no of carbon: 5-10
uses: fuel for vehicles

naphtha
boiling point: 75-150
no of carbon: 7-14
uses: raw materials for the petrochemical industry (plastics; detergent)

kerosene (paraffin)
boiling point: 150-250
no of carbon: 11-16
uses: fuel for aircraft
cooking using oil stove
heating purposes

diesel oil
boiling point: 250-300
no of carbon: 16-20
uses: fuel for vehicles that run on diesel

lubricating oil
boiling point: 300-250
no of carbon: 20-35
uses: lubricate machines
make wax and polish

bitumen
boiling point: above 350
no of carbon: above 35
uses: paving road surfaces

my dad just asked me to go die.

HO.

maybe i should just die.

Actually, Claymore's a pretty cool manga, I'd love to watch the anime =D
at least we get to see those yoma getting cut up by those happy claymore swords =D haha ohman i can't wait for the next issue to come out =3

i lovelovelove clare and miria XD
and sometimes raki LOL (although he's a bit useless)

ah i wish teresa had never died then priscilla wouldn't be running around =__=

but the awakens are so cool. whee

monsters getting cut up are a little cute XD

i think im going back to square one.
I HAVE NO MUSICAL TALENT AT ALL. this sucks T.T

today at dragon we were learning impro and i suck at it. so much.
then he tried to make me write the chords and bass pattern for when i'm gone. the bass lines are pretty cool but it's so difficult to play it accurately. there're some pretty good slides though. and nice passing notes in the second verse. haiz i guess i'll be hearing the song like repeatedly until it gets stuck into my head and i manage to figure out every single note and play it like david. yep so til then it's always when i'm gone replaying and replaying.

i hope i pass common test

jeff's head's cool.

xier came back =D

i have a new aunty. she knows how to speak almost every language under this hot sweltering sun.
her main lang for communication is CHINESE.
i am dead.
so dead.

i think david descrosiers is quite fat (but there's always pierre to make him look skinny JKJK)
but he's cool.

i got simple plan's new album =D found a song that the person that i was relying on for sp's new album didn't have. WHAT IF. that song's really nice too. i wanna play it one day but it has strings inside D=

What if
Simple Plan

What if i lead the way
What if i make mistakes (will you be there?)
What if i change the world
What if i take the blame (will you be there?)

I remember going back to the place we used to lay
But I keep losing track
And now the days they all turn black
And our dreams all start to fade
But there's no turning back


Cause the world's keep turning
(Why do you tell me you care, when you're not going to care)
And my heart's still burning
(Why do you tell me you care)

What if i change the world
If i lead the way
What if i be the one who takes the blame
What if i can't go on without you
What if i graduate
What if i don't

Now i'm slowly, giving up
As the world keeps losing faith
And you still turn your back
Now the path i follow takes a tool on me, on you
But there's no turning back

Cause the world's keep turning
(Why do you tell me you care, when you're not going to care)
And my heart's still burning
(Why do you tell me you care)

I'll be waiting here
For you to call me

Oh..

What if i lead the way
What if i graduate
What if i change the world
Would you still remember me?
What if i lead the way
What if i graduate
What if i change the world
And i found the words to tell you what you mean to me

I'll be waiting here
For you to call me

I'll be waiting here

insignificance is okay
because you yourself will be significant to yourself.

I was getting very distracted while studying today. The computer was on and I was trying to search for something meaningful to listen but my mind was peacefully blank when it came to song titles. Then it struck me that simple plan had released their new album and i have yet to hear their album so i went to youtube the songs. There were 4 that i really liked.

No Love
Your love is a lie
Save You
I Can Wait Forever

But i feel that the songs with really meaningful lyrics are No Love and Save You. Haha i was trying to chose between the two for the more meaningful one, but looking deeper into the songs, it seem like these two songs are equally as meaningful as each other. Both addressing different issues.

Well, i think that these songs are meaningful but i'm sure there are people out there who would beg to differ =D
after all, we're all human with different opinions

No Love
Simple Plan

Staring out at the world across the street.
You hate the way your life turned out to be.
He's pulling up the driveway and you don't make a sound.
Cause you always learned to hold the things you want to say.
You're always gonna be afraid.

There's only hate.
There's only tears.
There's only pain.
There is no love here.
So what will you do?

There's only lies.
There's only fear.
There's only pain.
There is no love here.

Broken down like a mirror smashed to pieces.
You learned the hard way to shut your mouth and smile.
If these walls could talk, they would have so much to say.
Cause everytime you fight, the scars are gonna heal.
But they're never gonna go away.

There's only hate.
There's only tears.
There's only pain.
There is no love here.
So what will you do?

There's only lies.
There's only fear.
There's only pain.
There is no love here.

You're falling.
You're screaming.
You're stuck in the same old nightmare.
He's lying.
You're crying.
There's nothing left to salvage.
Kick the door cause this is over.
Get me out of here!

There's only hate.
There's only tears.
There's only pain.
There is no love here.
Tell me, what will you do?

The above can be applied to the world or to a relationship. And guess what, sometimes i tend to agree with the "there's no love here" part.
While the below one is what Pierre wrote when his brother (i think it was his brother) was diagnose with cancer.. yep so there it is.

Save You
Simple Plan

Take a breath,
I'll pull myself together.
Just another step until I reach the door
you'll never know the way,
it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something to take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
and there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
if it takes you forever, I want you to know

when I hear your voice,
it's drowning into whispers
your just skin and bones
there's nothing left to take
and no matter what I do
I can't make you feel better
if only I could find the answer
to help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you
and there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
if it takes you forever, I want you to know

That if you fall, stumble down,
I'll pick you up off the ground.
If you lose faith in you,
I'll give you strength to pull through.
Tell me you won't give up,
cause I'll be waiting here if you fall
you know I'll be there for you

if only I could find the answer,
to take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
and there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
if it takes you forever, I want you to know

I wish I could save you!
I want you to know
I wish I could save you!

One more week till everything comes down, hits hard and sudden, and yet i find myself loosing the motivation to even pick up a textbook to at least skim through.

Looking back on the past few months where i haven't been doing anything except just burying myself in this swirl of assessment books and textbooks and busy getting myself involved in as many things i could, i realized that it wasn't motivation that drove me to study so hard at that period. It wasn't even the motivation or the want to get involved in those things that drove me to hunger for them, to crave for them so much that i applied for just about anything i could.

The other day i was talking to xinyu about some problems that she had, it didn't exactly occur to me that i was in somewhat the same situation as she was. But that got me thinking. Why was i doing everything i was doing? Why was i getting involved in so many things? So many things that family, self-interest, friends, God have all been left behind, and I've been stripped bare of everything i once held dear to. And yet I was still holding on to the nothing i acquired.

Neglect.
Pretense.

Just this morning, i was emailing daryl hor about the 10 lost eggs of easter thing we were suppose to share to the kids that we were leading on easter sunday. I came across this verse Isaiah 50:6 that said "I gave My back to those who strike Me, and My cheeks to those who pluck out the beard; I did not cover My face from humiliation and spitting." He was tortured and mortified because of us. He was neglected by so many people, even the people He trusted the most denied Him 3 times. And yet he still persevered on, without any masks, without any pretenses. He had that amount of faith for the Lord, so large the amount of faith that even at that moment where He was at his darkest and scariest time of His life, He prayed to God.

Neglected by everyone, mocked by enemies and still His faith held strong. Perfect son of God. He has never faltered or wavered. In church, I keep saying that I wanted to be more like Him, to at least attain the fruits of the Spirit.

And yet what am I doing here? What am I doing now? Faltering, living my neglected life just as it is, in the worldly way. Falling, building this life so that it's full of pretenses. Neglecting, so that my life is filled with meaningless things which I do just to pass the time.

Broken.

How could I ever forget about God? My shelter, my best friend, the one who would never neglect me. How could i ever do that. But rummaging through the months that flew fast, that was just what i did.

Over the past few months, I've just been feeling so neglected. So neglected by family, friends, everything. To the point where I decided that the only way to kill this feeling was to bury myself in everything i could. Thus the endless studying and the sudden uptake of so many tasks. Sure, it did a lot of my life, my results got much better (not that I'm complaining about the better results), I got more involved in church, playing for both youth and jr praise, learning how to lead a group of kids so that they might know the message of easter... Taekwondo, I started teaching the younger kids.. Even throws, i started paying more attention than i needed to. Despite all that, studying still took up the largest part of my life.

So large a part that the Bible would not be touched for weeks and DG time could be skipped because of some petty dispute in my class.

My spiritual life (which was quite rocky to begin with) eventually came to a standstill.

During that point, my life was becoming more meaningless and suicide was more than often on my mind. My family was becoming more and more separated, discord was being sowed among my friends, i was breaking. And yet, all I thought of was still burying myself in more and more things. God was as far as the north pole is from the south.

Not long after these pretenses became too hard for me to keep up with. Day after day, tears were always streaming down my face, and inside i was crying out for someone, anyone, somebody. Never had i thought about God and how precious His love for me was. The tears just kept coming. Night after night, crying myself to sleep and reflecting over everything. All that came to nothing. No one came, I still didn't open my eyes to His love.

Things weren't better when my mom started getting angry over the fact that i was hopeless at housework. Things didn't even pick up as I went to camp.

Neglect.

I guess everything just came towards me when i finally picked up the easter group leader material to type to daryl hor. It seemed to jump out at me. To show me that i could never be neglected by Jesus. That i could never be judged by Him.

John 5:24 "Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life."

Then there was the question at the end, it was supposed to be meant for the children who had not come to receive Christ and to accept him wholly into their hearts.

Will you allow Him to roll the stone away from your empty heart?

Empty heart. All along I thought that I was becoming more and more depressed because of the fact that everyone was neglecting me. Perhaps they were not, it was just me. My heart was empty without God, so empty that it was affecting my every action, and all of my thoughts.

I think my blindness have become myopia.

I think I have realized and felt something about God.

Although, I still cannot understand,
I think i will try my best.

And definitely the best this time.

at nanyang now, waiting for peilih to go for lunch. i think trying to study in school is super not productive at all. so it essentially means that i have less than 3 days to study D=
this sucks.
but but i think i must get at least 70% for everything this term to get at least 1.2 msg during final year exam. so stressful. D=

CHERYL IS SO HARDWORKING LOR.
i bet she finished studying already
JESSICA ALSO
study freak number 1
cheryl can get second place.
and carissa the 3rd
maybe sherah can fit in somewhere too...

depresses me, when i see them studying so hard and im here slacking away. LOL

I SUPPORT OBAMA! hahaha

i hope peilih is coming out soon.
LOL eunice is entertaining me with funny stories about her teacher and stupid questions.

HAHA sounds like my class during sec 2 and 3...
i think chiang is too lenient on us XD

OKAY STUDY HARD FOR BLOCK TEST. BLACK DAY IS COMING...

on my right is mr kuo, and i think he's going to stalk me and nick to play during talenttime. (izzit talent time? ) i dont mind but i have this feeling nick minds LOL
and on my left is lee shan2
both of them are speaking so loudly.
one side can hear about bio and genetics and other sec 2 topics... the other side right got stuff about redox reaction. depresses me to no end. HAHAHA

i wanna look at the girl who called lee shan2 fat.
=D i *clap clap* for her bravery =D

btw how to spell applude/applaud/applaude/aplaude?

english is such a weird language.

paul tan would be disappointed in our english language now.
and i think that he looks communist. no actually he looks like eunice's twin.
big twin.

WHY ARE THEY NOT COMING OUT YET.
okay im hungry.

i just came back from graces camp.

i ate a lot in the camp and went on an emotional roller coaster. but overall i think it was quite a good experience, except that it was quite cold in the place where we had our meals, so i had my hoodie from JAPAN (so you can imagine how thick it was) on me almost all the time.

yesyes and mojo jojo homo jomo's mother came over to help us put on make-up. okay actually she didnt come to help US. she came to help mojo jojo homo jomo.. but we just happily invited ourselves to her services. HAHA so overall it was quite a good camp

if you minus off the part about the malay dinner and the formal dinner. because i looked like a freak in both dinners.
imagine a gay in a baju kebaya and in a dress. tadah you get the GAY.

so sad. (=