HMM.
so sad. LOL I'm going to waste my short short life dreaming and making visions that will never be completed because i act before i think XD



and since when was i musical LOL
and the last one which is mathematical/logical (not displayed at all) was quite expected..
my math T.T

IS IMPROVING!

I really want to succeed. I really want to succeed so badly that it's almost painful. i want it so badly that sometimes i think that this need, this want has accelerated to a level that it's completely unhealthy.
All i really want are decent tkd skills and the ability to at least do the pattern DECENTLY, PROPERLY and not the anyhow pattern that i'm doing now. All i want is to get 3rd and throw above 9 for nationals. the longing hurt. all i want is just to score well, to be not me, so that my studies are perfect and my mom would love me more.

tkd.
today. i went for tkd at the cc. i have no idea why xi'er came when she could have gone to NTU where improvement could have came in leaps and bounds. when near her when she's teaching/ doing pattern or when she vaguely looks in my direction when im desperately practicing pattern during break, i suddenly realized that my pattern is really lousy. not normal standard, but instead.. lousy. i'm suddenly rather self-conscious. suddenly it seems that something has came upon me, telling me that my passion in tkd is unneeded. what's the use of having passion for the sport that you practice so desperately for when the best you can do is still desperately lousy. hopelessly lousy. what's the use of pushing yourself everyday to split against that wall and enduring the pain only to increase by like what, ONE DEGREE everyday? i bet by the time i graduate from jc i still can't do a split.
passion is over-rated. look here. I really really love tkd, im really enthu about the sport so why can't i suceed in it. my pattern is like shit, my kicks are half-assed. my sparring is not worth mentioning.
SO WHY AM I STILL STAYING IN THIS SPORT.
i really want to do well in tkd so badly that it hurts. it's so tempting to go down to NTU to train, but will they welcome someone like me? all talk, all passion but no talent, nothing so whatever. plus there's still the issue about time. if possible i would want to put myself through a thousand and one of the NTU coach's training just to become better. i would run as many times of nanyang house as needed just to make my legs faster. i will practice till i am no more, till i suffer from a serious injury and is unable to move anymore.
that's how desperate i am.
and yet.
passion is over-rated. and no one would ever succeed with passion alone.
i will stop at the next belt and desperately train myself. for a year or so. until i can reach that certain standard. i want to be good. being average is not good enough.

throws.
how can i succeed, how can i get 3rd placing. HOW CAN I THROW NINE. I BELIEVE THAT I CAN DO IT. if i doubt in myself i will never be able to do it.
who am i kidding here? myself.
what does believe do. yes it moulds people and cause miracles to happen.
sometimes. it seems that im just a liability to throws with my sucker crap so called average throws.
i really want to do it this time, i want to at least clinch a bronze medal. i've been training very hard over the last few months, preparing for these 6 throws. just these 6 throws that would either make or break my dream of getting 9m or third.
this is just the way i am.
i have to believe in myself more. and throw with all my might and talent in the next few tranings i have. even if jiaolian looks at me with that disgusted look, i will not be depressed by it because with this determination, with the trainings that i have gone through, i believe that i can throw much further than weiying
there's no point trying to wish for a little more speed or a little more power in a time like that. that's right, if i encourage myself, i can do it.
3RD PLACING IT IS.
OVER NINE MEASUREMENT IT IS!
I can do it. i almost threw over the nine line today.
i just have to get that flying feeling more often so that my throws would remain consistently good.
just this time.
be fearless.

studies.
..

i will encourage myself and go train like nuts for tkd once eoys are over. i may not be talented by i believe that with the amount of effort i will be putting in, with the amount of determination i will be putting in it, i will succeed.
not just to be average.
but to be good.
and to be a high-achiever.

first day of school was..
horrible.

I HAVE TO REDO MY BIO SIA.

haiz.

"Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the
Stage, and then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
- Shakespeare, Macbeth, ActV SceneV

I've just finished watching Kurosagi [the movie] and it was quite a let down. sure the expressions and acting were good but it was the plot that really killed me. where did the high tension plot from the drama go to? the movie ended with ANOTHER cliffhanger/open ending. =( the ending isn't even as good as the ending of the drama. but haha, it is still quite a good movie to watch. except you have to expect it to be like one of the normal drama episodes where kurosaki (yamashita tomohisa) tries to devour his victim, in this case a rather strong shirosagi.
maki didn't even appear in the movie, her role was @_@. HAHA. i think that's why i thought the movie was a let down. but other than that..
the emotions that yamapi expressed in the movie was really good! =D

i think the underlying sentence that carried through the entire movie was "life's but a walking shadow." but in the movie they acted out the play, julius caesar. (anyway i'm curious what happened to yui's theatre club in the end? see another open ending with no real answer.)
why out of everything, julius caesar? Because brutus "betrayed" when he was tricked to believe that caesar wanted more power (a dictatorship)? oh ya, just like how kurosaki is going to betray katsuragi in the end? or was it the other way, katsuragi's going to devour kurosaki. but it was rather strange to use something from Macbeth and then have Julius Caesar as the main running story in the movie. Hmm, maybe i was wrong. maybe the underlying sentence that was carried through the entire movie was "et tu, Brute?" But still why start and end with something from Macbeth. why not use macbeth as the significance play for the movie? macbeth has plenty of betrayals too...
HMM.

well and for one. taiyou no namida is sure a nice song XD
love it =3
yamapi looks nice.
so does massu XD

ET TU, BRUTE?
THEN FALL, CAESAR.

i used to not care about my weight and my appearance, but recently things have taken a turn for the worse. somehow or other, i'm so obese now that i can't fit into the clothes that i wanna wear. for example, today, i saw this really nice looking shirt, (i'll post a photo of me trying it out below..), and i can't buy it because the sleeves were rather tight.. and i was so fat.

i wonder what others think when they see my photos
zomg, look at this friggin' fat person. i can't believe that she dares to post her photos up. she's so fat, it's hilarious, how she looks in these clothes that can't even fit her. FAT FAT FAT FAT WHORE.

obesity is an issue that i must battle with. okay, so onwards me. maybe i should like lose 10kg or something by the end of this year. my mom would be happy with that size.


the fat fat idiot and the shirt she can't wear.
But i really like that shirt..

I'm really sorry about what happened today.
I suck don't I? I probably do. and it's not even funny anymore. it was never funny.
sorry.
but even if i apologised a thousand times all i say will make you angry right? because i'm neither j or wl.
and because my phone is faulty.
even if i said sorry and repented for a lifetime, it'll just probably stay in your mind that quite a few bucks got wasted because of the information that i gave.

still.
sorry.
really.
sorry.

I am so so so super angry with my mom. What's her problem. she keeps telling me that i'll become lesbian in the future! just because i have short hair that actually do manage to stand at home doesn't mean that i'll become lesbian what! WHAT'S HER PROBLEM.
I AM NOT LESBIAN AND WILL NEVER BE ONE.
ARGH I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN SHE KEEP SAYING THIS TYPE OF STUFF. what is her problem. WHY IS SHE QUESTIONING MY SEXUAL PREFERENCE.

=I'M FUMING WITH ANGER=

"Facilis descensus Averno;
Noctes atque dies patet atri ianua Ditis;
Sed revocare gradum superasque evadere ad auras;
Hoc opus, hic labor est."
- Virgil, The Aeneid [Divine Vision]

"The gates of hell are open night and day;
Smooth the descent, and easy is the way:
But to return, and view the cheerful skies,
In this the task and mighty labor lies."

Experto credite

the woes of doing math ws and the result of that. haha i should stop talking to people and asking them how to do and get distracted halfway LOL. lucky it's a draft ws. and tell me WHAT SORT OF QUESTION IS THIS.

If ε = {dogs}, G = {greedy dogs}, H = {healthy dogs}, F = {fat dogs}. write the following statements in set notation:
(a) all healthy dogs are greedy
(b) some healthy dogs are not fat
(c) all healthy dogs are greedy and fat
(d) all fat dogs are either greedy or healthy or both

i think about hot dogs.
what a weird and senseless question.
i wonder what we'll do with it in the future =_______=

ohman look at this haha i have a feeling it's really quite common but still woah. cool LP fan

00000_____0000000000000000
00000____00000000000000000
00000___000000000000000000
00000__00000000_____000000
00000__00000000_____000000
00000___000000000000000000
00000____00000000000000000
00000_____0000000000000000
00000______000000000000000
00000_______________000000
00000_______________000000
00000_______________000000
00000000000000______000000
00000000000000______000000

DIGIMON BATTLE OF THE YEAR!

CAITONGMON

VS

PINKYMON





pinkymon WINS!

yay i got my purple fbts.

I'm pro =]
i got it when i was practicing for service tmr in church.
HA. I HAVE MASTERED THE ART OF THE ULTIMATE MULTITASKING. haha jkjk, no la yihui got it for me XD THANK YOU!

Well practice surprisingly went quite well today, judging by the fact that i disappeared for the last 2 practice sessions (which i felt was really important). haha i was being a dumb bassist, and still is a dumb bassist. my improvisation not that good =(
wrong word. it's not not that good but VERY BAD. haha i can't seem to tell what note should i play. not like jchan talented. tsk. HAHA my beat is off too O_O so sad right.

i believe that everything would go well tmr even though we're meeting at 7.45. (super early what if i over sleep)
jiayou youths


ohya i was taking mrt back. THERE'S THIS BOY SO CUTE. ohman. i shall try to upload a picture (tadah). i was standing in front of him and sms-ing, then alfred was swinging around. (alfred is there because audrey is in the wash)then he suddenly reached out his hands to grab alfred. HAHA so cute right. but that picture was taken when he was staring very intently at alfred then haha i just took the photo.
BUT HE'S SO CUTE.

see. im not scared of little kids.

We had cca in the morning. i know i was feeling very distressed because jiaolian never look at my throws. but now if i think back about it, i realised actually he got look at my throws. and he got correct me. (=
i shall jiayou for throws and throw as far as zexin's distance XD

then i happily went home to take a bath. and went all the way back to school for band prac. i was there rather early but so i walked super super slowly up to the band room. zong smsed me to say she was there already.
when i saw her
she was SLEEPING LIKE AN OLD HOMELESS MAN.
so typical of her.

well we tried to ask some uncles (i dunno what they do in school but they're super pro and have many many keys) for the key to M4-10. There were two uncles there, one half wanted to give to us and the other one protested and didn't want to give to us. so mean. LOL
so we waited for caitong and caitong proceeded to find the scary teacher. (i dunno what's her name LOL) and surprisingly she agreed to open for us. oh while we waited for her, nicolea finally arrived. HAHA with trevor. then while she came to find us (we were at the scary teacher there), trevor was hiding in the toilet. i found that rather amusing. hiding in the toilet. O_O

okay yes, then we practiced. it turned out rather well. BUT IT'S WITH TREVOR SO I DUNNO HOW IT WOULD SOUND LIKE WITH LORRAINE. lorraine plays A LOT louder. ya and her beat different, so the song would naturally sound a bit different also. so ohman we really must prac with her. yesyes.

we took photos. all with hamster.

WEE SUPER EVIL. horrible person come so late LOL

yes anyway zong, caitong me and wee went out for dinner. kap XD
ya then we're all sauce maniacs. HOHO.

ok i lazy to blog.

JIAYOU TMR. im scared for youth sunday!
I hope nothing strange would happen that day!
Praise Him!

DOES ANYONE WANT TO HELP ME GET A PURPLE FBT THEN I PAY THEM BACK?

MUAHAHA
ANYWAY I'M SUPER HAPPY TODAY.
MY THROWING IS GETTING BETTER AND I'M RECOVERING FROM THE MUSCLE ACHES MUAHAHA
AND JIAOLIAN NEVER LOOK AT ME WITH THAT DISGUSTED LOOK ANYMORE! HAPPY~
I'm going to aim to throw 9 or more by nationals. WITH MY POWER I WILL BE ABLE TO DO IT. COME COME POWER COME TO ME.

haha TO DO IT FOR HIS GLORY TOO!
I'm aiming for 4th place. GO ME.
(then must definitely throw 9+)

oh i recommend W Juliet to anyone who reads this and likes to read manga. The plot is HILARIOUS.

yay i'm still happy over my throws. although the average throw was only about 8 BUT i am confident that i am throwing much better than i was on tuesday.
yesyes happy!

oh i bought a female shirt today. =(
I DUNNO WHAT CAME OVER ME.

okay yep.
TOMORROW'S PRACTICE.
jiayou me.
jiayou zong.
jiayou wee.
jiayou hamster.
jiayou caitong.
jiayou gay. (even if you're not allowed to come)
jiayou lorraine. (even though you're not there tomorrow)
jiayou sarah. (aiya why you never come)
jiayou trevor. (i dunno if he'll come)

CAN ANYONE TELL ME IF UYEN'S COMING.

flying zombies. how did shimin find my blog?
AH I WANT TO GO OUT. lets go bishan lib XD
so i can go home faster faster.

the height at which he goes up to is woah. and this miserable person here mending this blog cannot even do the counter jumping back kick attack (the 2nd practice one).
haiz

RANDOM PHOTO. xinyu says i should post it. my hair look like guy's hair. T.T

haha random photo. even though it was taken at a random time by impulse by my sister it still looks quite nice right O_O
haha i was whipping my face. and looking shocked LOL
=_____=

anw today i put coloured wax on my hair and jiaolian thought that i ran tou fa.
HAHA so funny la. he went to ask other people if i got dye my hair, then when i told him i really never dye, he still like don't believe like that.
and the orange is so not obvious.

haha and we found out that jiaolian goes to LITTLE INDIA to eat O_O
he says the food there nice.
hmm that's quite interesting =)

i hope my throws and tkd improves

i cut my hair so it's now very short. haha starting with a blurred picture because my hand also shaky.
YvonneHan says i look funky, that drummer teacher also. My mom suan me. she say my hair very ugly.
when i was cutting my hair, this hairdresser helped me blow dry my hair, after blowing dry my hair he suddenly said, "你的头发很多hor" and proceeded to ask, "your hair natural curl arh"
so sad la. those 2 are the questions that i ALWAYS kena get. my mom's friends always ask me,
"你的头发有perm过吗？"
"没有"
"then为什么so curly?"
"born like that mah"
"你小时候hair还是好好的what"
then they turn to ask my mom if i really never perm my hair.

thanks.

oh i spared with shim at night during tkd with wong-sir HAHA. she scold me, for kicking her stomach LOL
but i was really enjoying it. HAHA i really didn't expected to be picked so i was just making a lot of noise behind and pointing at random people saying, "i want to spar with her!"
i suspect that me and shim were in the same weight category even though she's so short. HAHA ohwells. okay la she's about half a head shorter than me. aiya, i must slim down, i want to get to the lighter weight of the "feather" division because now my weight is fluctuating between the light and feather division what. hmm so if i can lose about 4 kg of fats. flying zombies, that's a lot. okok i don't mind losing about 3kg of fats and get more muscular.. aiya it still wouldn't work out. hmm...
okay then i would rather be in light but everyone there like a bit tall so kicking head level will be quite difficult for me. LOL

okok deviation LOL.
yeah but anyway, now people don't wanna spar with me =(
and my sparing is considered as VERY LOUSY. haiz

i must learn how to stand up straight and not lean forward when sparring and also how to feign very convincingly. LOL

HAHA pictures XD but i look super ugly. ohwells. XD


XI'ER! haha she's so cute right XD jkjk. yeah but it's thanks to her that i could come and attend camp sparex.

Ryu: shimin! my AGL! she's rather short too 152cm? HAHA but she looks very cute also LOL.
she's yellow belt pattern member and her sparing techniques are like ours. yep. she lost against this white belt from HC (J1), but that white belt super POWER. she's currently studying psychology =)

Ryu: yixiang and elisa! my AGL and GL! HAHA yixiang super serious and elisa is the goon type of people. she told us she has 3 tattoos. then xi'er told me she has one below her chin, one on her back all the way up to her shoulder bone and i forgot where the other one was. i like her hair. then yixiang's super helpful haha, he corrected a lot of my kicks =D he's studying computer engineering if i'm not wrong.

Ryu: quang! haha it's pronounced as "kuang" or something like that HAHA. he's Vietnamese and quite pro even though he's a white belter. from JJC if i'm not wrong

Ryu: marcus! from HC one. super funny his expressions haha j2 this year.

Ryu: jengyang haha he got kicked at the *AHEM* many many many times. it's a wonder he's still alive. from JJC

Ryu: elisa HAHA, she was obsessing over a packet of that cracker thingy thingy O_O LOL. she's an ultimate winner lor, this type of stuff can also obsess over LOL. to my surprise, she's studying business. O_O cannot believe lor.

Ryu: CHERYL! haha she's super nice and she's from SNGS (sec) HAHA not bad right. then she went into HC (as you can see from the shirt, now she's j2) AH. such a pity i didn't find eugenia on the last day! =( MY GROUP ONLY GOT 4 GIRLS INCLUDING ME. (or 3 and a half [half being celeste, dunno why] as elisa puts it) AND AHHHH eugenia had to go off again on the last day. so left cheryl me and celeste. 3 girls, or 2 and a half as elisa puts it.

marcus, cheryl, celestine, me and ivan. HAHA as seen from the picture everyone is from HC except me. i wonder why i'm in the picture. i heard that celestine coaches HC tkd. yep. celestine's this pro pro black belt HAHA. she had a technical knockout with celeste (from Ryu one).

Ryu: joshua! from VJ his sparing like mine. bad bad one. LOL jkjk. i think he's too scared that's all.

JIEYING! OHMAN I TELL YOU! FEET OF STEEL. i blocked her kicks with my arm that had a GUARD on it and my arm kena blueblack until like ABUSED like that. and my feet clashed with hers, so yeah blueblack also. she seems to be healthy and alright. why arh, my feet are cotton T.T but HAHA thanks to her i learnt a lot from the sparing match =)
distancing and how my punches were rather disgusting. HAHA cos when i punch i leave this opening that can kena kicked very very easily. oh she's from HC, J2!

Ryu: ivan! he's super tall. cannot stand it. i wish i was that tall too. he like towers over everyone with the exception of this NTU person whose name i forgot LOL. HC, j2.

Ryu: celeste! HAHA i was so skeptical about her taking a self taken photo so i looked so weird ohwells. but I INJURED HER AT THE 2ND DAY OF CAMP. SORRY T.T i didn't mean to kick so hard. nvm it was worth it right, you got to sit out and didn't kena kicked by me again. from VJ, J2.

CAMP SPAREX
my blog very horrible, there's no title, so i must create my own title.

haha i'm finally back from camp sparex. although pretty tiring, it was quite fun XD
my feet are full of blisters and my hand is bruised pretty badly but i feel really satisfied.
my group leader, Elisa and assistant group leader Shimin both very short 152cm (if i'm not wrong) and very cute HAHA! then both keep saying that my other assistant group leader, yixiang, very boring. to quote them exactly to their words "eh don't you think our AGL is a very boring man?"

im getting lazy. btw i'm in group Ryu. AND IMPT THING TO NOTE: throughout the entire camp, everyone keep telling me that my distancing super not good. like cannot estimate. i can list the amount of people. the darwin (akuma's AGL), the wear specs one (the shorter one from footwork workshop), junhong (the SUPER scary blackbelter; also the one that gave the talk about MST), adeline (how to spell her name; erm i think her sparing very good one, my 'coach'), celestine (i think HCJC alumni, pro one; opponent's coach, maybe yixiang also said before.
so depressing right. i really must work on my distancing.

er then the 1st day (friday) xi'er's friend took us for this teaser training. (thye boon? if i'm not wrong. dunno how to spell la!) this began right after we reached NTU campus and elisa introduced our group to us, i remember being quite scared of everyone =\... then got kick kick kick, then run run run er stretch stretch. ya that's about it. but it was rather tiring. looking back... i wonder why. and surprisingly, people think my stride in turning kick quite good. O_O i thought my kicks like crap like that ohwells.

oh btw i got a shock when i saw elisa. i expected her to look completely different from what she looks like. she looks like a mini and more cheerful version of L. HAHA not bad right, got j-rocker style one.
aiya sucks man, why some people can have the j-rocker style so easily then i keep trying to figure out how to style the hair like that, then cannot. must be i'm too big and fat already.
haiz so super depressing

then at night the training was conducted by the NTU people the shifu. the shifu very cool not at all like wong sir. but his training very xiong, judging by how he went easy on us, yeah. xi'er must have had it tough. (no wonder she's so good. i accept my not getting any double already. i haven't even train as hard as her before. i will train harder from now on.)
we went for a few rounds around the mat, it's the size of a normal indoor floorball playing already, a little bigger(?), not sure though. we ran one normal round, then we did other stuff like star-jump, jumping, air kicks, sprinting... so on. i was rather worn-out after that. but without break, we went on to search for a partner. I got this brown belt as a partner. she was okay at the first half, i think it was 10 or 20 kicks one leg. turning kick both stomach and head level. she kick very well (by my standards XD). yeah, then she keep correcting my turning kick because i always do the football kind of kick. never tuck my leg first, so my body very exposed to opponent's kick. then after those kicks, she kick, i kick, then we continued with this stride back turning kick. i was slow HAHA. but i got faster after a few sets. but i got more tired so kick become slower, so in the end it was the same speed. well, i did her set also because she had stomach ache. zombie! i'm super pro. i forgot her name.
but after all that when our legs were tired and dying, we rested for quite a long while. i think it was quite a long while because i suspect that the shifu there is rather scary and just let them rest for a shorter time than what we do, or even no rest at all.
well, we were told to climb the nanyang house the steps. i was counting the steps, counted about 117, not sure if it's right, elisa told us the number but i forgot also. haha too tired already. we only went for 2 rounds. i thought if there was no one in front it would be okay because i suspect that that nanyang house steps must climb all at one shot, cannot stop or slow down if not it gets more and more difficult to move. yeah, but it kept jamming up so we kept stopping. so by the time we were done with up down up down, just 2 rounds i was quite tired out. i heard that they normally do 6 rounds. i should practice with a long long staircase that i can find before i MIGHT go back next year.
so that was the end of the day.
11+ ba

the 2nd day, we learnt more sparing techniques in the morning. we went for warm up with thye boon again, (i think he looks like a hamster.) stretch stretch, my leg was super pain LOL from yesterday. i think i overstretched my leg or something while trying very hard to do head level turning kick which i cannot really do. yeah, so we did footwork first (i think, cannot really remember the order already). that one was okay, but this darwin. i forgot his name, ohno, i think he was group akuma's AGL. but he was super scary la. my both legs super cannot move at the same time, then my leg cannot step fast enough also so he positioned himself in front of my and started to intimidate me by driving me to move faster because he was advancing quite fast. but it doesn't really count because he's heavy weight in men, which is erm not very fast. okay faster than me but it doesn't really count because i'm super slow. okay then at the 2nd workshop where we are supposed to practice and perfect continuous combo kicks, i super cannot make it. coz' on that day i was already forcing my leg to move, my left leg cannot lift. so yeah i forced myself like crazy for the 1st half where we had to do continuous kicks. and of course it looked terrible, felt terrible and was SUPER slow. i think cheryl was irritated also. haiz, so depressing. ohwells. well so at the 2nd and a half station, i finally relented to my cramps/strain and didn't kick head level turning kick for left leg. yeah so i did twice the amt for right leg.
i was partnering with celeste for the last workshop thing, (if i'm not wrong.) then we had to kick target with stride back turning kick. then celeste said i could go in with full force because i was much light than her, and so i did! and she GOT INJURED. =(
since she was injured and there was this very scary black belt, junhong (i think) walking around, he decided to partner me. i didn't dare to kick him or anything because HE WAS NOT WEARING GUARDS. and his feigns very very convincing. so scary. =shivers= and he's like what, fly category for men? so his reaction super fast. aiya scary one.

then we play game!
RYU WON!
ha ryu rocks.
i like my group members a lot, well i talked to most of them (well at least one sentence EXCEPT for Jonathan who came late and looks scary. well actually Eugenia also came late but she was so friendly and nice~ i like eugenia.)

okay then i had my first sparing match against this HCJC J2 senior called LAI JIE YING this morning. she is good (and marcus' wife from what i gather). i lost in goodwill. her coach was celestine. haha. jieying's leg like steel like that. so scary la when she spars. i can get blueblack even when it clashes with guard.
i hope i can be just as good/better than her in the future.

i'm debating if i should stop for one grading to get my kicks correct and head level kicks nice before i continue to senior black grading. because from what i see now, my kicks are really very weak when he comes to fighting an opponent. so maybe i should take this chance.

yeah
upload photo tmr XD

HAHA! this' the first post in my entire life which has a tittle. tomorrow's it's camp sparex already and i'm feeling quite excited. but i'm quite afraid that i might not be able to withstand the training.

coz' on tuesday i trained very hard for throws, then i realised that i had to go on wednesday to train very hard for throws too because i would be at the camp on friday. so i went yesterday and i got so tired after like 3 set? Okay, maybe it's not a very accurate judgment because i threw the first set all by myself. hmm but still that level of energy is completely unacceptable. furthermore, I'm going for training afterwards, (today is a thursday) to train my heart out so that my speed & technique can become better. so from tuesday to thursday i've been training non-stop with a lot of effort.

then tmr, without rest, I'm going for another set of training! 3 days in a row again. friday, saturday and sunday! what if my body refuses to take it anymore and breaks down half-way. I'm super worried that would happen.

At that time i would just sink down into the sand(or mud, or just the floor XD?) and collapse to my death from exhaustion. It doesn't really help that I've just recovered from exhaustion. But if others can do it, I can do it too right? I bet HCJC has tkd training right before Camp Sparex. (I'm just deceiving myself HAHA but ohwells.)

six days of training in a row is nothing. I CAN DO IT.

I'll be one of the youngest there =( HAHA the other people will be ALL JC and above except for baggage. yeah. aiya it's better than being 3 years younger. =D one year is NOT BAD.

i hope my technique for throws would improve today. and jiaolian won't give me that disgusted disgusted look.

maybe i'll bring my math hw to camp LOL
probably won't do

I haven't been studying much recently, it seems that my mind has gone into a recession.

today, doing training jiaolian didn't come to the shotput area at all. and he looked so disgusted with my throws. i really really wanna throw well, i dunno why i can't seem to throw well.
oh i just made this discovery. carolyn is super funny O_O
her mannerisms are super hilarious LOL
wenqi also.

but I SHALL STRIVE FOR THE BETTER TMR. AND FOR THE REMAINING TRAININGS AFTER THIS.

I'm so excited about camp sparex =3. I hope my group leader will be nice. Xi'er says that she's quite cool/nice person so i need not worry. but sometimes nice people also a bit scary also. I'm scared AH. but it's still so exciting anyhow =3

AH. OKAY I SHALL TRAIN HARD THERE SO WHEN I COME BACK TO THROWS TRAINING I AM FAST.
I CAN DO IT!
SIX DAYS OF INTENSIVE TRAINING IN A ROW

GO ME!

i hope my sister gets into NJ and baggage gets into VJ.
go them XD

I am currently listening to this song by utada hikaru and it's called boku wa kuma.

which also means, i am a bear.

and the lyrics talks about him being a bear, where the bear is super retarded and has an enemy called "shrimp tempura".

O_O

I feel super lifeless now. =(

I DON'T WANT TO STUDY ANYMORE.
I DON'T WANT TO GET MSG 1.0 FOR NEXT TERM ANYMORE.
I WISH I WAS STUPID AND WENT TO YIOCHUKANG SEC SCHOOL OR SOME OTHER NEIGHBOURHOOD SCHOOL.

I HATE THIS LIFE. I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE.

WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M STUDYING HARD.

I JUST DON'T GET THE STUFF. I DON'T GET PHYSICS AND ESPECIALLY ELECTROMAGNETISM.

I don't want to be like this