The darker the night becomes, the brighter the stars shine, the clearer we can see them. The same as be said for this period of time so shrouded in misty darkness that so many of us turn to the brightest light.

We are drawn to him, drawn to her, drawn to them. We, as tears stream down our faces after receiving him, her, them - the trinity, fall to our knees and plead for forgiveness and mercy. It may partially be for our own selfish desires, the need to be saved at a time where everything seems to be going wrong and nothing else seemed to help.

But this desolate time of hopelessness and terror, we find miracles being performed. We find the impossible happening. Impossible is nothing.

In this time of miracles, we are drawn helplessly to the light, to the light of the world. We turn wearily to the word, some out of selfish choices, the others just the pure willingness to open their hearts to him, her, them - the trinity again.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalms 119:105
We have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Impossible is nothing. And the day is arriving where everyone would be drawn further into the light. Miracles do happen.

Who will not fear you, O Lord,
and bring glory to your name?
For you alone are holy.
All nations will come and worship before you,
for your righteous acts have been revealed.
Revelations 15:4

There can be no peace without justice.

Is it true.
What is justice?
Justice to me can be a different justice as compared to justice of someone else, for instance the terrorists in mumbai.

So what is justice?
Is justice simply what our conscience tell us is right, or is justice what others think is right.

Is justice killing everyone in your way of justice, is justice murdering because justice requires these people to be sacrifices for the greater cause.

So what is justice?

Our lady peace (the band) is quite good. HAHA

Things were made to be broken.

More and more I find it's true.

Relationships

Beach and the sea

I told myself that I must blog at least once this weekend. But apparrently I have nothing to blog about.

Is pain an indication that we're alive?

Nature

ZOOM ZOOM UNTIL THE 18TH

And piece of advice. Please DO NOT go near to Sing to the Dawn. Best la that movie. Watch already can vomit blood.

Psalm 73
1Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.

2 But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.

3 For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

4 They have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong.

5 They are free from the burdens common to man;
they are not plagued by human ills.

6 Therefore pride is their necklace;
they clothe themselves with violence.

7 From their callous hearts comes iniquity;
the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.

8 They scoff, and speak with malice;
in their arrogance they threaten oppression.

9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
and their tongues take possession of the earth.

10 Therefore their people turn to them
and drink up waters in abundance.

11 They say, "How can God know?
Does the Most High have knowledge?"

12 This is what the wicked are like—
always carefree, they increase in wealth.

13 Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;
in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.

14 All day long I have been plagued;
I have been punished every morning.

15 If I had said, "I will speak thus,"
I would have betrayed your children.

16 When I tried to understand all this,
it was oppressive to me

17 till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.

18 Surely you place them on slippery ground;
you cast them down to ruin.

19 How suddenly are they destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors!

20 As a dream when one awakes,
so when you arise, O Lord,
you will despise them as fantasies.

21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,

22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

27 Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.


Those in bold are the words that really meant something to me. What Weien talked about today really struck me as something very true and striking. Although I haven't gone over to the dark side and still remained as what Weien deemed as a goody-two-shoes in school and at home, I fully understand and fully agree with what Asaph was lamenting about. There are so many ungodly people that I envy. They don't know Christ, some even scorn Him and yet they're so successful in life, successful in the eyes of the world. Some don't even look like they study, and yet, they get good grades, get the approval of so many teachers.

I am envious. Very much so. It seems like no matter how much i struggle, I can never take the fast track that they're taking. Whenever I try for some scholarship or some important placings, I always don't seem to get it. At those times, I would also end up lamenting like Asaph. I could never understand why I couldn't be the same as those people, why I always ended up with the short end of the stick.

And yet, I still stuck religiously with Jesus. Sometimes wavering, but always believing in Him. Praying that I would actually get better grades and other worldly successful things. I was naive. I didn't understand. At those times, I believe in Him, but i still used my own strength to attempt to succeed. I left Him in the dust of my mad scrambling to please my parents with my attempts to be successful. I'm sorry Lord.

He lead me to trust so deeply and depend on him during the end-of-years this year. I was so helpless, so nervous. I felt as if I didn't know anything. I tried my best and was comforted by Him during my darkest hours. It was by His strength that pulled me through thus far. My rather good MSG was not because of who I am, or because what I've done, but rather it's because the Lord's mercy.

He is my source of strength and my source of hope.

Now, begins our journey. Me and the Lord together. In every victory, it would not be of my own strength but of the Lord's strength. He is my source of light, my healer, my source of hope.

The Stand
You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

I HAVE GRADUATED FROM NANYANG.

I shall cancel out the go to HCJC in my bucket list in jan XD

Parents
Or more specifically my parents

Why are these the people that tend to always run you down when you're already feeling so bad about everything in life. I thought these are the people that are supposed to be the people that would support you for whatever you do. I thought these are the people that would shower you with unconditional love. I thought these are the people that would never treat you like scum no matter how badly you do. I thought these are the people that would understand you no matter what do you, what you say.

These are the people that tell their children that there isn't enough communication between them and their family members. But they disregard their children's feelings. Do these people know the meaning of scum? Well, I'm sorry. I feel just like a piece of lard, a piece of scum that would never ever do well enough to be recognized by these people.

Why?

Are results everything to these people? No matter what results you try so hard to achieve, to matter what you get, it would never be enough. If you get a 79 in both chem and bio, they would ask, why isn't it 80? And if you get an MSG below 2 but above 1.5, they would ask why isn't it below 1.5? Are results so important to you that you don't seem to see the hard work put in behind those results that you regard as highly disgusting? It's so superficial, I hate it, I hate it.

Is having face the only things that matter to these people? Must all of us be so exemplary, what's wrong with being normal? Why do they like to compare their children? Everyone's their own individual. I'm different from my neighbour, and so on. They always say that they're not comparing us, but what do you make out of this.
parent 1: Oh, your kid is which school?
parent 2: XX elite school! How about your kid?
parent 1: oh my kid in YY elite school! Oh your kid very smart hor!
parent 2: Okay only la, in 4/1 only.
parent 1: Wa, 4/1 it means very smart hor. My kid cannot compare la, she's only in the humanities programme scholarship, results not very good one.
parent 2: My kid where can compare with yours! Your child the math how, my daughter always cannot get above 80 leh
parent 1: Oh mine marks normally above 80 one, she says that math is quite easy, but her physics not very good, also always cannot get 80 and above.
parent 2: Ya, I think they don't work hard enough! My kid right, too involved in student council already!

And so on.

I am so irritated with them! But you can't do anything to argue back because you're not in any position of power. Pissed.