Try as you might, you can never do it.

Okay, you might be able to do it and cause a massive traffic jam for the other cars.

To what extent will you go for it?

What if I wanted to break

Laugh it all off in your face

What would you do?

What if I fell to the floor

Couldn't take all this anymore

What would you do, do, do?

I know that I'm not supposed to feel this way, but its so unfair sometimes. It's like no matter what I do it's never enough for anyone. Then someone else would come along and I'm there at the starting point again. And when I finally pick myself up again and struggle up again, the cycle repeats again. It's as if I'm destined to have no one stick by my side. Or no one truly by my side. Sure, friends are nice, but how many friends would care if I disappeared from this Earth. Who would be affected.

If I jumped down a building right now who would care?

No one would.

I'll just be a passing memory, a passing thought. Oh she's dead.

Oh yeah I'll be sad for a week, but I didn't really know her so it's okay.

Perhaps others might even go, good riddance that she's gone. She was SO irritating.

I don't know. I really don't.

I've been there for people so many times but its as if I'm just there as a backup friend that they can do without. Because they will always, without fail, ditch me for someone else. Perhaps they don't actually realize. I don't mind being ditched I guess.

Just use me and suck me dry so that I'll walk to the end of this road and fall into that dark comforting abyss before me. To be alone.

I'm so jealous. I shouldn't be. It's a sin, but I can't help it. I keep seeing others with so many people beside them, with people caring for them. With CLOSE friends. And then I look at myself. How close is close.

Even the closest has left long ago.

I look around, nothing.

I give and give and give that recently I've been finding it so hard to take.

Insignificance.

I'm really so filled with envy that it hurts.

I'm neither here nor there. Not really accepted here or there.

There has never been a place that I can say that I'm absolutely comfortable in.

I'm neither girl nor guy.

Nothing. No one.

I might as well be a robot then at the very least I'll be rid of these feelings.

Maybe I'm running away from the world. But even if I do return, who is there? Who is there?

Who would be there.

What's that point of going back if there's nothing there for me.

All I need is just one person that would stay by my side [not go anywhere, or be swept away by anyone else] and it'll be fine.

Why? Not even one.

Is it so hard?

Why is it so hard.

Why?

What am I even waiting for.

Everyone will run away eventually.

I'll die.

I'll die after awhile.

There's no point.

I'll die.

How does it feel to adore someone so much that you want to spent every waking moment with the person?

How happy would you be when you see that person smiling?

How your heart would clench when you see that person sad?

How does it feel to love someone that much?

How is it even humanly possible?

What if you get rejected?

Would you cry like there's no tomorrow?\

Would you try to die?

Isn't love too big a risk?

Little sparrow, little sparrow

Precious fragile little thing

Little sparrow, little sparrow

Flies so high and feels no pain.

All ye maidens, heed my warning

Never trust the hearts of men

They will crush you like a sparrow

Leaving you to never mend.

They will vow to always love you

Swear no love but yours will do

Then they'll leave you for another

Break your little heart in two.

Little sparrow, little sparrow

Precious fragile little thing

Little sparrow, little sparrow

Flies so high and feels no pain.

If I were a little sparrow

O'er these mountains I would fly

I would find you, I would find you

Look into your lying eyes.

I would flutter all around you

On my little sparrow wings

I would ask you, I would ask you

Why you let me love in vain.

I am not a little sparrow

I am just the broken dream

Of a cold, false-hearted lover

And your evil, cunning scheme.

Little sparrow, little sparrow

Precious fragile little thing

Little sparrow, little sparrow

Flies so high and feels no pain.

All ye maidens fair and tender

Never trust the hearts of men

They will crush you like a sparrow

Leaving you to never mend.

Little sparrow, little sparrow

Oh the sorrow never ends

I guess I can only be a back-up friend.

Mmhmm.

I should stop being delusional.

It's okay to get ignored.

I guess.

Because everything is never as they seem.

You might say one thing but your actions might tell another story.

Might not feel like you're doing anything, but it's just causing me to cave in and collapse.

Until sometimes I think I'm going to have nothing left.

You might not feel like I need you, but I do.

Misty-eyed as farewell is going to come soon.

Farewell;

Silently creeping creeping.

pleheraseforplegmeasevinpleleaasetops

Heart.

It's breaking apart. More quickly than anyone knows.

Empty.

Yada.

Thought that I should change the picture of my blog for a bit.

Feeling a little bad, as if I'm imposing myself on them. Will put something similar back up when I deserve to.